I was talking to a friend about comedic / farcical literature the other day, and Catch-22 by Joseph Heller came up. That made me remember - I first read this book when I was about 15 years old. Or rather I read about 80% of it, didn’t quite finish it that time. I forced myself through it because I had heard it was subversive and intelligent and challenging, and I got nothing out of it. I didn’t see the humor, I didn’t get any political commentary, it was just a series of absurd things happening to absurd characters with no rhyme or reason.
I reread that book two years ago and damn near pissed myself laughing on every other page, but then the ending rolled around and it hit so hard. That sudden switch from absurdist comedy to heavy, bleak, depressing, and then he gives you just this glimmer of hope at the end anyway. I found it absolutely brilliant, and yet I kept thinking back to how none of this connected with me when I first read it.
Do you have books like that? Books that just plain went over your head, that you didn’t have the maturity to appreciate, that were too difficult in style or subject matter, and that you’ve come to appreciate years later?
In my early 20s, when I had disposable income and a high sense of myself, I bought a lot of books which I DNF’d. Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov, Milton’s Paradise Lost, Nietzsche’s Thus Spake Zarathustra…
Reading older books is kind of like a muscle which needs to be trained. In the last couple of years (now mid-30s), I’ve now read all three of these. I adored Paradise Lost, whose language flowed effortlesly after falling into the rhythm of blank verse. I appreciated Karamazov, though Dimitri is perhaps my least favourite character in all of fiction, and having finished Thus Spake Zarathustra, I now believe Nietzsche is the incel OG.