So I see comments on if he’s truly working when he’s away for months and I get the skepticism but…I think that’s probably the least shady thing about him.

I definitely wouldn’t be shocked if he has a wife or woman back there and that’s why he’s so secretive and the lying to his family is not ok at all.

But I don’t doubt he actually goes away and works for long stretches. It may be hard if you don’t understand how things work in some of these poorer countries but a lot of times it’s hard to find decent paying jobs in your area (in America too tbh). Many times people do manual jobs and they may have to go to a larger city, or even in the jungle to mine, cut wood, etc. Those kind of jobs many times have actual sites and different jobs to make the site run and you could have a contract that stipulates like 30 days on and 2 weeks off or something and they provide you lodging and food. The site might be too far for commuting to make sense or very hard to get to. And these jobs at times may not be the most stable or maybe you spend months away and come out and the people don’t want to pay you and there’s little recourse legally due to corruption. My family is from a place like this and I have a ton of extended family who still live there and have to do this and it’s a sacrifice they make to provide. So when he mentioned that, I knew exactly what he meant and I’ve seen documentaries on Ecuador that lead me to believe it’s similar there (and many other poorer places).

So while it sucks, the kids and family are used to it because it sounds like he’s providing for all of them; he may be providing for multiple generations. I wouldn’t be shocked if he wasn’t from a well to do family or area. So I sort of get his logic around moving to the US even with kids, because ultimately it opens a world of opportunity to him and them and generations. I’m not saying it’s morally ok necessarily but I’ve never had to make a decision like that.

Hopefully, he’s not just dating her for that since that would be cruel but I think him working away is the least sketchy thing about him. It’s just the reality of his situation potentially, it’s hard to understand how little you can get paid in some of these areas if you’re not around it and how much money just buying food can take when your income is that low. This isn’t on Ashley to solve of course, just giving some context that might be helpful.