I have discovered why I haven’t been reading as much lately… reading for me with such a cluttered mind has become just starring at words and following lines with my eyes, while my mind drifts and overthinks EVERYTHING. Being alone with my thoughts is so distracting. Wish my mind could just shut up. I’m slowly getting through all the books, but I feel like I’m missing half of what is written. Does this get better with time?
The funny thing though is that when my therapist asks me what I’ve had on my mind lately, before diving into this reading practice, I would always say “I dunno.” I think I’ve found a new way to more self-awareness and meditation… but I’ve still lost my ability to read at the same time. Gah. sigh.
Yeah, I definitely need to do more of this. Been journaling, going to therapy, working on my self-awareness. But these days I’ve gotten so blind to what’s in my mind… apparently only when I’m reading do I even know what’s on my mind. It’s never been that way before. It’s a struggle.