I have discovered why I haven’t been reading as much lately… reading for me with such a cluttered mind has become just starring at words and following lines with my eyes, while my mind drifts and overthinks EVERYTHING. Being alone with my thoughts is so distracting. Wish my mind could just shut up. I’m slowly getting through all the books, but I feel like I’m missing half of what is written. Does this get better with time?
The funny thing though is that when my therapist asks me what I’ve had on my mind lately, before diving into this reading practice, I would always say “I dunno.” I think I’ve found a new way to more self-awareness and meditation… but I’ve still lost my ability to read at the same time. Gah. sigh.
I’ve had similar issues, largely because of my job – i work from home, tech stuff, and my work life & real life have gotten perhaps too intertwined because off-hours work is pretty routine for this field. So i try to read and my brain starts wandering, thinking about work i need to finish up, or my non-work to-do list that gets longer & longer, so on and so forth.
So a little while back i decided to take control of the situation, and carve out some time as often as possible just for reading, which means closing the door to my office, putting on some calming background music, and giving myself an hour at least where i can just set aside everything else for a while. It’s not easy! But with practice i’m getting better at it. I do miss those younger days when i had entire days to just sit and read, of course. But i’m trying to make this private time a real priority.