TW: abuse and sexual violence

I finished Sarah and I’m almost done with The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things. I’m embarrassed to admit it took me a while to realize The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things is a prequel to Sarah as the narrator of Sarah is unnamed then I realized it’s Jeremiah as Sarah is his mother. It’s an interesting read and it touches on many sensitive topics like child abuse, sex work, poverty, drug use, gender identity, and child exploitation. I’m aware that JT Leroy is a literary persona created by Laura Albert, and the stories are framed as though they are autobiographical, and this situation was very controversial as Laura Albert did get charged with fraud. Nonetheless I find her work as JT Leroy to be very powerful.

In Sarah, it takes a moment to realize Sarah is the mother of the narrator as they don’t have the typical mother/son relationship and at one point it puts her in a state of shock when the narrator reminded her that she’s his mother. Sarah’s neglect is mentioned in Sarah, but The Heart is Deceitful highlights how she’s abused and neglected Jeremiah from the moment she regained custody of him. She herself was abused by her parents who are very religious, so she implements what she’s learned from them on Jeremiah including fear mongering and physical abuse - although to an extent it’s worst as she subjects him to sexual abuse from the many random men she uses for money.

Jeremiah’s abusive upbringing conditions him to view abuse as a form of affection and rape and pedophilia has become normalized in his mind. He envies his uncle when his grandfather beats him, as he feels his uncle is getting the attention he longs for. Sarah gaslights him into believing he’s evil as a means of fear mongering him when he wants to leave her, so he feels he deserves the abuse he’s experienced and provokes his grandparents into abusing him. This sort of creates a trauma bond to his mother as he longs for her attention even though she is horrible to him.

I was a bit confused about his gender identity so I may be misgendering the character but I know he starts crossdressing as a child when Sarah finds it convenient as she either pretends he’s a little brother or a little sister when meeting a new man. In Sarah, Jeremiah seems to be more in touch with his feminine side than in The Heart is Deceitful as his mother forced it on him. When he becomes a lot lizard he goes as a girl as his pimp Glad specializes in “Boy Girls” - which my friend said caters to people who fetishize trans people. I’d definitely appreciate if anyone can correct me on this one.

One thing I found the most interesting is the relationship between Jeremiah and Sarah, as they don’t have the typical mother/son relationship. The whole sibling relationship Sarah would fake to the many men she’d date seemed to best describe the relationship dynamic they have, as the first couple chapters of Sarah showed that sort of dynamic between them that I was surprised when I realized Sarah is his mom.

Has anyone else read these books? If so what’s your thoughts?