I am “generation Harry Potter” (and please, I really do not wish to discuss JK Rowling right now). What I mean is that I was just the right age when the books where first published and I grew up with them being a few years younger than the protagonists.

Now I did not have the most ideal childhood. My home situation was complicated and I was home alone a lot. I also was a sickly child and had to stay home from school often. I did not get much but I wish for a new book every now and then and when I was home alone because of a tonsilitis my mom bought me Harry Potter. I was 9.

Since then HP somehow became my comfort zone, my safe space. Whenever I felt like shit I would hole up in my room and read through the HP books. As a teen I never told anyone since I already understood it was weird to read a book again and again to flee from reality. But I figured it will phase out once I am an adult and “figured stuff out”.

Well, it didn’t. You can guess how old I am given the above information and through all my 20’s and then 30’s til now I kept turning to the HP books whenever something bad happened. Especially something grief and death related.

Yesterday my grandmother died completely unexpectedly (I mean, she was old but she was relatively well until now and she was out for a coffe and cake and then dinner the day before yesterday with my parents even. Sudden fatal heart attack not even 24 hours later. I missed the chance to see her again after months of not visiting. We had planned a day together on Dec 1st. I am incredibly sad and full of guilt).

I took off of work today and now I am at home, sudden crying outbursts all the time and it’s like my whole body and mind scream for my personal method of “relief”: Lay in bed with a hot cup of tea and HP and the sorcerers stone and just nope out of real life. I know this is not healthy and a little weird but it helps me so much.

I just wanted to know if others know this feeling as well… and what your comfort book and story is.

  • Hms-chill@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    10 months ago

    Depending on what I have access to, it’s Tolkien, Romeo and Juliet, or the first two episodes of Welcome to Night Vale (which isn’t technically a book, but the line between audiobook and scripted fiction podcast feels thin. Plus I have the script in book form, so I count it).

    When I was at the emergency vet for six hours last year, I read Romeo and Juliet on my phone since it was free online, and I could focus on the words themselves instead of having to think.

    Tolkien’s work is great to just take me away and let me forget about everything. I listen to the audiobooks every winter, when it’s dark at 4 PM and it feels like I’ll never see the sun again.

    Night Vale is my go to when I want to acknowledge a problem but feel better about it (or when I need a distraction but absolutely cannot sit still enough to read). I really got back into it in 2020, which is around when I also read the scripts, but it’s my go to option for when I want someone to say “hey, this is bad, but it will pass, I promise”. And maybe he’s dealing with his boyfriend being trapped in another dimension or a glowing cloud dropping dead animals on him while I’m dealing with a busy workload, but the format of a radio show podcast really helps there be a sense of community.

    I got into all of these around 10-14, which was also when my family moved to a new city, so it was the prime age and situation to have my brain chemistry altered forever.

    I’m so sorry about your grandmother 💜