I’m a parent and thankfully not divorced. But I’ve considered what something like that would look like and the kind of co-parenting we would have to adopt for what’s best for our children and ourselves as people.
One big thing for me personally would be that if we were to form any serious romantic relationships with another person, and wanted to introduce our partners to our children, to disclose it with the co-parent out of respect and hash out how that would like to best help the kids handle introduction of this new Inter-personal dynamic in their lives (it can be tricky for kids of divorce).
We’re presumed that even thought they’re divorced, Michelle and Ted are both very active and in communication with things that revolve around their son with eachother. Her leaving out that she’s bringing to the house the guy she’s dating and actively hanging out with their son is not only weird but fucked up. Let alone their damn couples therapist (that’s a whole another level of fucked up).
Yes, she has a right to have her own private life and date whoever she pleases. But introducing people into your children’s life and HOME, well that becomes Ted’s business as well. Not telling him or having a discussion about it completely undermined their co-parenting dynamic that other wise seemed very healthy.
Between forcing Ted to sign divorce papers that could have waited a day (in midst of intense work week for Ted) and going ahead to date the therapist and introducing to their son without even a heads up, Michelle is obviously a self centered person.
I know it’s only fiction, but I think this stuff does happen in real life and the way Michelle has handled it is not ok in the slightest. Ted could have been a little more forthcoming about how not ok it was, while still being respectful IMO.
Honestly yeah, I do have some sympathy for her being in a relationship with an incredible unbalanced power dynamic but she completely ignored the fact ted is still the father of her child
“Thank you, and fuck you” would’ve been appropriate here too.
OP isn’t there yet
Appropriate yes, but I don’t think Michelle would have received it well enough for it to improve their communication like it did with La Dee Dottie
I’m going to get about 2/3’s onboard with you here. Dating your therapist is a hard no. And theoretically yeah, she should have had a talk with Ted about the relationship between her boyfriend and their son, all things being equal. But all things aren’t equal. This guy bounced to another continent for multiple years leaving her with the lions share of parenting responsibilities at a formative time in Henry’s life. So no, in that scenario it becomes a more of a courtesy than anything. As far as signing the paperwork, again, actioning a court proceeding with someone who’s living across the ocean is a giant pain in the ass, and harder when the other person is dragging their feet.
While she did have the bulk to the parenting, remember that Ted had a whole discussion about his decision-making behind his London move in I think Season One. Nate asked why he moved away if his marriage was in trouble, and Ted shared he was a following their therapist’s advice and Michelle wanted it, that everyone seemed to think his being gone a while would save their marriage. So even the move was really manipulated by Dr. Jake and supported by Michelle.
Do you feel Ted had a good handle on the actual state of his marriage at that point? Or was that just his perspective/interpretation of the situation. No one in their right mind moves an ocean away from their wife and child to fix a marriage. They do that to get over their divorce.
People love to ignore this part of the equation. He’s literally a phone parent for years and people think Michelle should be running her life decisions by someone who upped and fucked off when he didn’t get what he wanted.
You’re missing a KEY piece here. Ted moved for Michelle in compliance with Jacob’s suggestion.
And I dispute the dragging feet part. You can give someone more than a couple days to sign paperwork you have a multiple week window for without correspondence multiple times from both yourself and your attorney. Like that’s not even nagging yet, that’s just harassment.
I agree. There is no reason he had to sign and fax them on a weekend when he was at a critical away game. It’s not as if Michelle’s lawyer was sitting by the fax machine on a Sunday.
Hard agree. When Ted isnt even on the same landmass leaving her to be the bad guy to their kid while he can be encouraging and fun dad from afar, he doesnt get as much of a say in what she does in her home as he would if he was actively involved.
Not to mention Im sure its stated in the episode that hes had the paperwork for weeks and not done it, if shes had to chase him during a busy week then thats on him, shes given him plenty of time.
Was Michelle a teacher? I’ve always wondered because in season 3 when Rebecca is trying to convince Ted to stay & bring Henry & Michelle over to live in England she said Michelle can get certified & teach. Does she mean get certified as a teacher to teach in England or get certified as a new teacher so she’d have a job??? If she already was a teacher you’d think she would know how unethical it is to date your therapist & having her personal therapist see both her & Ted. I don’t think dr Jake’s specialty is marriage counseling
She asked for space and Ted moved across the globe. A little inconsiderate too maybe?
You make it seem like he sought out a job across the globe.
Eh. At any sort of professional level in an in-damand field, you’re going to receive pretty regular unsolicited employment offers. Decoding how those mesh with your family is a normal part of being a parent.
Yeah you’re right. It’s definitely reasonable that a college football coach from Missouri should expect offers to coach professional soccer in the UK.
The therapist suggested it and then used that space to make a move on her. She then immediately introduces him into her sons life even though we can clearly see in the last episode that he’s a dick. Not sure how you can justify that
She did not immediately introduce him to their son. There was at least a year between their divorce and when we first saw Jacob at her house. That’s not immediate.
How about the gift that Ted asks about? That didn’t look cheap & to give it to a kid you’ve just met & called “mommy’s friend”? Nah. He’s been around for awhile.
Im speaking of the time between their relationship starting to when you introduce them to your child. You don’t just introduce every new guy you start dating to your kid immediately imo
She didn’t though…but I’m not gonna sit here and argue with you.
Not sure where you got that. Regardless, dating your marriage counselor is all sorts of unethical. Weird to stand up for honestly
Who are you calling inconsiderate?
Ted. Michelle wanted a little time and space apart, not for him to move to another continent.
Time for a rewatch. Michelle wanted him to move more than he wanted to.
My recollection is that Ted says his wife wanted space but he didn’t think she meant 5000 miles then Nate chimes in with the exact distance.
She was the one who wanted to separate but did not intend for him to move so far away.
Also, Ted makes an offhand comment in season 1 about how their couples therapist was initially her solo therapist so it’s not even “borderline unethical” it’s straight up lose your license unethical
It’s so messed up that she is dating their marriage counselor- it’s totally unethical. I know it’s a plot device but irl Ted could sue that guy for malpractice, report him and his license would be revoked. It’s such a huge no-no I have trouble getting past it.