It happened with Kalani and Asuelu. It was mentioned to Danielle when Yohan wanted to move to the U.S. Now, it’s Manuel demanding it from Ashley.
I understand that it’s a cultural thing, but why do parents want to put this kind of stress on their children? I feel like it’s a tradition that’s been passed down and since they did it for their parents, it is just expected. Even just a grace period to help them get on their feet before they start sending $200 or $300 a month could alleviate the stress.
I’m from Canada and it’s extremely financially hard here, I couldn’t imagine sending money to anyone every month. I don’t know exactly how it is in the U.S., but I would think $300 is still a lot for anyone to send monthly. Not to mention, these people only have one source of income since the person coming can’t legally work until they get their green card. I know that it’s really a lack of communication on their end, but it really seems that the family is demanding as well, like it is incredibly toxic. Is this a normal thing or is it just exaggerated for T.V.?
They don’t have kids for the same purpose that you’re used to people having kids. My parents had kids because they wanted to be parents, they are hippies and loved having a family. They raised us to want to fly the coop and only come visit them on weekly visits, much like they did with their parents.
Others have kids as an investment. Or simply because they don’t have access to or believe in birth control. They aren’t raising them to be all “thanks for the lessons, I’ll use them well!” They are raising them so that when they’re old and can’t work for whatever reason that is, they will start paying the bills. Often they start working as youth as well, for that specific reason. Lots of “nobody stays here for free” mentality.
What I find most interesting is that people love parents who only love what they can do for them. So it’s an interesting look into the psychology involved between offspring and parents. In the US we are heavy on the “Your parents don’t treat you nice? Cut 'em off.” train and most other countries do not go that direction in the slightest. We’re brutal and ruthless to look out for our own well being and not looking to take care of the people who raised us.
My parents refused my money when I tried to give them my Christmas bonus to pay off their mortgage last year. So I come from an entirely self efficient family myself yet I still understand that other people, even in this country itself, were not raised that way!
I know a lot of adult children living at home “caring” for their parents in the US. We just started turning basements and garages into “Mother in law suites” instead of cramming them all into one house like other places do.
I think it’s unfair to call people in the US brutal and ruthless in the specific case of cutting off abusive parents. Abusive parents exist in other cultures, too, and it wreaks holy hell on the mental health of kids that have massive amounts of pressure to continue supporting them.
I never said that abuse didn’t happen in all the other cultures. That’s a really strange takeaway.
My whole point is other cultures put up with even worse than we do often times and still don’t cut off their parents. whereas we are in a society that advocates for you to take care of your mental health and ef your family if they want to keep dragging you down.
That is brutal in a lot of minds. People have said as much to me.