I’ve loved the Musketeers ever since I first saw the 1973 movie but haven’t gotten around to reading the actual novel until now. I even managed to read The Man in the Iron Mask first, which should have tipped me off more about what to expect. But seeing how that book is described as a darker turn, I was still surprised about how the main characters act in the book.
Namely, they’re a bunch of douchebags.
They get into duels (which is illegal) and then have to fight the guards (who are trying to arrest them for doing something illegal) and maim and kill people without any sort of consequences. At one point Athos gets goaded into telling a dude his true name before a duel, only to tell him that now he has to die and go about killing him. Porthos is leeching off a married woman, Athos became a Musketeer after doing the French equivalent of an honor-killing and they all mistreat their servants. Athos beats his if he speaks to him and they all recommend that Dartagan does the same. They financially take advantage of anyone they can, cause havoc everywhere they go and kill a lot of people super casually.
That being said, I do love them for it.
My friend and I used to describe them in the movie as “Varsity Stars who can get away with everything” but I had chalked a lot of that up to being characters in a Richard Lester movie, not the original novel. It was fun to read about them holding wine cellars hostage, putting in no effort to avoid violence and not realizing that rent was something they had to pay until their landlord informed them. They’re not great people, but they’re great to read.
The candy is also awful
You made me laugh out loud.
I know it’s an unpopular opinion, but I love three musketeers bars. The flavor is simple and uniform, and the texture is incredible. There’s none of the bullshit you get in other candy bars where there’s several competing flavors/textures, or the distribution(ie of caramel or nuts) isn’t uniform. Barring air pockets(nobody’s perfect) every bite is the same. Feels bad to see them at current price point, though. I understand that candy bars are now standard priced $1.50-$2, but a three musketeers clearly has less going on than a snickers or a milky way.
Have you tried them frozen? Used to get the mini-mini versions and freeze them. The full size bars are too big to manage frozen. Been ages since I’ve had one. I went off sugar some time ago.
I’ve never had them frozen. I don’t think I would like that, because I like the contrast of sensations they way they are. I did used to freeze milky way minis when I was a kid(they were the only thing my mom would buy), because then I would be able to eat the bottom half first and then the top, to enjoy it without mixing the textures.