Nikki is wading through heaps of impractical clothing for her trip to Moldova, and her mom Myrna comes by to sit on the suitcase so it closes. Nikki reveals that they didn’t speak for two years when she transitioned, and Myrna tears up and admits she just didn’t understand, and that she’ll never get that time back. They’re extremely close now, and Myrna remains concerned about Nikki’s safety and feelings, and doesn’t think Nikki gets that a country’s conservative leanings won’t be deflected with the right outfit.

Meanwhile, in Moldova, Igor works out at a public gym to demonstrate his experience as a personal trainer, the official occupation of 90DF participants that aren’t already influencers. He says he struggled with his mental health after Nikki blindsided him — an increasingly confusing claim, since Nicole regularly reminds us she was more masculine-presenting the last time she visited. Regardless, Igor read some books, got healthy, and opened his mind, and concluded that he still saw Nikki as more than a friend. Now he’s excited to reintroduce Nikki to his world, and pick up where they left off when she shouted her truth mid-argument 20 years ago.

He hooks up with his friend Sergei for coffee prepared inside a marvelous plastic bubble. Igor admits to being worried, since everytime Nikki goes out she goes big, and his friends haven’t had the accepting reaction he’d hoped for. He adds that his mom knows about Nikki, and respects his decision.

“You seem like an adult,” Sergei nods. “Which would normally mean that enough time had passed for you to escape childhood. But this is 90DF, so you’re either lying, or hell is about to hatch all over your face.”

“She does keep calling me the name of a pop star whose career is sinking in real time,” Igor considers.

Sergei requests visual evidence, and Igor shares Justin’s very questionable dance performance, and Sergei concedes dance crimes have taken place, though not quite the felonies Rob committed in the airport, which might make it the jurisdiction of Homeland Security. Maybe Nikki can get over her bullshit and call him his actual name? He asks to see her photo, and once Sergei confirms there’s a person in there, suggests they ask the grandpas playing chess what they think of his bride-to-be. They offer a thumbs-up, and Igor asks whether they’d stare at her if she were wandering the roads of Moldova.

“I’m not dead, I’m alive,” is the retort.

Nikki’s got everything packed except a foldable car, and her friend Chanel arrives to forklift everything compressed in vacuum bags into the backseat of a car.

“Is there anything you forgot? Maybe removing the security tag from the back of your pants?” Chanel asks.

Chanel’s not exactly optimistic about their future, and says most of what Nikki says about Igor is negative. She says Nikki is “in this 100%” and Igor isn’t, and Nikki sends him an allowance, pays for his cosmetic surgeries (though it doesn’t look like he’s had any), and pays for all their vacations.

“Nikki’s had sugar daddies in the past, and now she’s like the sugar mama. She should know better,” Chanel backhands her BFF.

“So, you’re saying Nikki is 100% in, but talks shit, and Nikki should know sugar babies are a con, because she’s conned?” Production really needs Chanel to know what she did right there.

“Exactly,” Chanel still doesn’t know. “And who is Igor?”

Production clearly has their own opinions, as they roll Igor in powdered sugar and unfurl the most apple-pie Betty Crocker bundt cake reel of wholesome since Hannah first twirled out of Armando’s arms. He busies himself around an imitation-grass bathroom making himself look nice, painstakingly selects his airport outfit while detailing his intentions, and pushes a vacuum around so her welcome doesn’t arrive with a side of filth.

“I bought this yesterday: Welcome,” Igor proudly reads his mat. “And I want her, Nikki, to take the first step.”

“AWWWWWW!” Everyone votes in favor of puppies and kitties.

“Total gold digger,” Chanel phones in from nyyyyyyaaaaahhh.

The gods of air travel demand suffering, and so they seat Nikki next to a brooding teenager with her hood up who definitely rolled her eyes a minimum of three times. Nikki muscles through being burned by Gen Z, deplanes, and stops in a bathroom to respackle.

“YAS! Suck on that tongue!” Nikki “100%-in” says to her reflection. “Just kidding. He kisses me like an 80 year-old man.”

“I cannot reach her tongue through her lips,” Igor explains.

With Nikki’s arrival, Igor magically transforms into Justin, and Nikki transforms into Nicole, and they pause to express joy at their reunion.

“My first kiss in nine months burns my lips, it is so hot!” Igor gushes.

“Maybe it wasn’t your first kiss in nine months,” Nikki: definitely not the problem.

On the way Nikki asks for a status update on their engagement party, and Igor describes it as an intimate affair with close friends and family that won’t throw stones at them until they’re forced to flee.

“You haven’t changed the political landscape here yet?” Nikki really thought that allowance would stretch further.

They go to a quaint cafe with amazing desserts, with Justin inviting Nikki to strut ahead of him for ass-inspection, and not long after sitting down Igor feels people gawking at Nikki.

“I can’t wipe the injections off my face,” Nikki might be right. “That’s not how plastic surgery works.”

Igor thinks the solution is only going out during the day, and Nikki asks if he’s scared to take her out at night because he thinks someone will clock her as trans. Igor clarifies that it’s more a worry that she looks like a “trans porn actress,” which is different. Can you feel the new flare forming? Nikki insists he’s not shelving her in the dark and only taking her out during the day. She’s also baffled that he has so many concerns about public opinions, because for some reason she can’t grok the potential for a legit threat to her safety — and maybe it’s a means of saving herself an extra helping of anxiety.

“I’m going to take it somewhere else,” Nikki sits down at the typewriter. “Maybe Igor’s really afraid of running into someone he’s dating on the side…”

“This paranoia will make more sense when I start talking about soul connections,” Igor chimes in.

Jasmine spent so much money on ass implants she figures appropriate penance is bangs, so she removes her extensions prior to departing Panama and opts to love her natural hair. Jasmine says Panama is home and leaving everything behind is very hard, but it helps that she’s been planning to do exactly that for years and several seasons of a tv show.

After goodbyes Jasmine lands in Detroit, and for some fucking reasons the crew fails to film the Motown Moving Walkway, but remembers to snag a shot of Jasmine sucking Gino’s tongue.

“Yeah, suck that tongue!” Nikki stops by to remind you that she and Jasmine are #twinflames.

They warmly embrace while keeping hats in place, while Coco rolls her way towards the baggage carousel to escape before someone dances. Jasmine admits she’s still a little mad as a lifestyle choice, but mostly she’s excited to see him. Gino loves Jasmine’s haircut and wonders if she saved any remnants from his $3K hair investment, or nah, and Jasmine clarifies that if she had, they wouldn’t be able to have an entirely new argument.

They head back to Gino’s house so Jasmine can marvel at his interior design choices, like a single orange wall daring brown wall-to-wall carpet to pumpkin, and an upside-down Panamanian flag warding off deportation from the couch. In the kitchen Jasmine inventories Gino’s processed-food diet for assurance he’ll be on dialysis soon. Coco figures the carpet is the closest she’s going to come to a toilet, so she makes short work of an uncovered patch, the diaper no one cares to remove riding up her back.

“Seriously, did anyone actually believe for a minute these two were planning on children?” Coco needs to know.

Upstairs Gino left something lingering in the toilet, and they both laugh about how a #2 might be waving to them from a bowl that’s never been cleaned, but at least his bathroom is indoors. The bed itself also dips below Jasmine’s expectations, and Gino suggests the race tracks running down the sheets are from when it puts the lotion on its skin, and not for reasons requiring a hazmat suit.

“When are you gonna let it go?” Gino tries to Rob. “Never mind. That makes me want to arrest myself.”

Gino eagerly announces he’s mastered the Washing Machine Arts, and invites Jasmine to sniff his comforter to celebrate the absence of mildew and dust. She still doesn’t think it was fair to steal it from a hotel, but she awards a passing grade, and then announces she has a surprise, and disappears into the bathroom, leaving Gino to sort her underwear and snuggle the dog.

“I am nurse Jasi,” Jasmine narfs, as she stumbles through the doorway in sex clothes. She’s got a surgeon’s outfit for Gino, too, so she tells him to scrub up in the bathroom and get his PHDerp, and she looks right at the camera when she notes the surgeon’s outfit comes with a hat.

“Can I be a dentist instead?” Gino tries as he heads in for a costume change. “I don’t think experience matters with teeth.”

“Doctor, I must remind you, this is an emergency,” Jasmine commits.

“Dr. Gino at your service!” Gino bursts through the door, invigorated and boner-fied by the opportunity to be in charge.

“I am Nurse Jasi, but at the same time, I am the patient. You must prepare me for my colonoscopy. I haven’t eaten in days, and I brought my own supplies.”

“I don’t have the most steady hand, but I can certainly try,” Gino’s hilarious. “I’ll have you lay down right here. Now, let’s prep you!”

The next day Jasmine’s invigorated and more convinced than ever that the key to consistent sex with Gino is engineering scenarios where he feels like an authority. They scrounge around the kitchen for something Jasmine’s vegan self can eat, and she’s appalled to see honey listed as an ingredient on a loaf of bread.

“Where does honey come from?” Jasmine teachers.

“IT COMES FROM BEES!” Gino shouts my new catchphrase.

Jasmine explains that honey isn’t vegan, and finds some cashews she can shake onto a plate, as a preamble to a fresh round of requests for upgrades, since it took forever to “cook this”? Gino realizes he needs to bring her up to speed financially, and seizes the opportunity to rebrand quitting his job as a sacrifice made to gift her his full attention. Jasmine seems torn between congratulating him for using her own techniques against her, and calling bullshit on something that stands to disrupt the arrival of her children. She reminds him that without stable income from a place providing a verifiable W2, their ability to bring her children will be jeopardized. Gino says he understands, and if she could just avoid pre-spending their next three 90DF paychecks, he can still twist-up the math. Jasmine is tearful, and retreats to get ready.

Gino knows he needs to get her mind off this setback and keep the welcome wagon rolling, so he sets up a couple’s massage so Jasmine can throw her underwear at the camera while they refer to their genitals as fruit, and conceal stray organs under towels. The massage therapist tries to steal Gino’s crown, and they both laugh because sometimes you’ve just gotta embrace the quirk. Then the massage therapist gets too close to Jasmine’s freshly sculpted ass, and Jasmine squeaks for her to stop.

Dr. Gino has questions, so Jasmine giggles and confesses to getting the butt implants he didn’t notice the night before. Gino is horrified, and they haven’t even gotten to the financial part yet. He slowly pries the grand total from her, and he’s astonished that she spent such a sum on something she didn’t even need.

“WE spent $10,000 on butt implants,” Jasmine of the Children reports.

“How did you not think it’s a big deal?” Gino asks the right question. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I did it for me but also for you,” Jasmine works this familiar line, but Gino’s mood sours, and he leaves the room. She then tells production that the last $2K came from Dane, who will be making a cameo after he finishes the latest run of Shakespeare in the Park.

“I thought he would think, ‘You went through all this just to look pretty for me,’ and appreciate it,” Jasmine falls back on her go to selfless-selfish.

“Just remember I quit my job for you!” Gino claps back.

NEXT TIME: Igor calls his relationship with Nikki a soul-connection and she calls it dick-under-glass and demands to know who he’s fucking, a South Korean man is super excited to be dating a white girl he calls Piggy and hopes she doesn’t fuck it up with his family, Ashley finds it weird that Manuel’s family is blowing up her phone but never wonders if maybe that’s why he was hesitant to tell them in the first place, and Sophie reports no interest in spreading Rob’s seed, and Rob cries while his K-Fed ambitions dissolve before his eyes.

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