I realize that by posting this question I’m cementing the fact that I’m similar to him I’m always needing validation, the same way he asked Diane if he’s doomed. But I, in real life, am struggling with addiction, I just had a conversation with my family after about a year of struggling with severe depression. I tried to explain that I don’t want to be this way but I can’t help but always feel shitty. They said that it was me who was propelling this cycle, which is true, but the story is so long, my life has been going like this for sooo long that I can’t remember what’s what anymore. So when they asked “why exactly are you depressed” I just said “I don’t know” over and over again and I tried to explain that it’s more of a state I’ve always been in, rather than an emotion from an event. The whole argument sort of had a “It’s you” tone. I don’t know. I told them I want to go to therapy, but they told me point blank that if I go back to my old ways that they’re done with me. I’m not sure what to do, I feel like it’s over.
No one is doomed, even Bojack wasn’t doomed.
This is a good idea. Depression is a medical illness, it needs treated. A good therapist can help you discover the roots of your depression and be an ally in your struggle to get better, since it sounds like your family is not able to give much emotional support.
Self-medicating is still medicating, which means there’s a problem it’s trying to treat. Seek out healthy treatment for it so you don’t have to rely on self-medication. If you’ve had any kind of trauma in your life–even something not commonly viewed by average people as trauma-inducing like cold or emotionally neglectful parents–then you should seek out a therapist specializing in trauma and addiction.
Best of luck to you.