I am “generation Harry Potter” (and please, I really do not wish to discuss JK Rowling right now). What I mean is that I was just the right age when the books where first published and I grew up with them being a few years younger than the protagonists.

Now I did not have the most ideal childhood. My home situation was complicated and I was home alone a lot. I also was a sickly child and had to stay home from school often. I did not get much but I wish for a new book every now and then and when I was home alone because of a tonsilitis my mom bought me Harry Potter. I was 9.

Since then HP somehow became my comfort zone, my safe space. Whenever I felt like shit I would hole up in my room and read through the HP books. As a teen I never told anyone since I already understood it was weird to read a book again and again to flee from reality. But I figured it will phase out once I am an adult and “figured stuff out”.

Well, it didn’t. You can guess how old I am given the above information and through all my 20’s and then 30’s til now I kept turning to the HP books whenever something bad happened. Especially something grief and death related.

Yesterday my grandmother died completely unexpectedly (I mean, she was old but she was relatively well until now and she was out for a coffe and cake and then dinner the day before yesterday with my parents even. Sudden fatal heart attack not even 24 hours later. I missed the chance to see her again after months of not visiting. We had planned a day together on Dec 1st. I am incredibly sad and full of guilt).

I took off of work today and now I am at home, sudden crying outbursts all the time and it’s like my whole body and mind scream for my personal method of “relief”: Lay in bed with a hot cup of tea and HP and the sorcerers stone and just nope out of real life. I know this is not healthy and a little weird but it helps me so much.

I just wanted to know if others know this feeling as well… and what your comfort book and story is.

  • pink_faerie_kitten@alien.top
    BEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you, truly.

    To readers like me, it is not “weird” at all to read books again and again for escape! Please don’t ever think that. Bookworms love books for this reason. That’s what stories/novels are for. Storytelling can also be used to teach us valuable life lessons, but for a lot of people, it’s for the entertainment. I think it’s COMPLETELY “healthy” to help yourself get through grief with this method. I can’t think of a healthier way.

    My “comfort book” was always the Narnia series. I used to read them about once a year and often when I was going through loss. I also had a companion book written by Paul Ford and he said that he had met many readers of Narnia who said the same thing, that they read it when they wanted to “go home”. Now, I’m no longer a Christian so I don’t get the same fuzzy feelings from them as I used to and thus don’t have a single go-to book anymore. But I read a lot of fantasy and instead of re-reading, I’ll just read a lot by the same author. So I’ve read a bunch of LJ Smith, Cassandra Clare, Patricia Wrede, Robin McKinley, Neil Gaiman, etc. Once I find a voice/vibe I like, I read all I can.