Quite honestly I can’t stand only a few books that I’ve read, recently The Awakening by Nora Roberts.
Holy crap, do I reallllyyyyy want my money back. I was bored. So. Bored. The magic system was subpar, the characters just….ew, everything was so, so boring. The MC is an idiot.
What book is a zero star read for you?
“The Mister” by E.L. James (50 shades of grey author 🥴) is genuinely one of the worst books I know. It’s basically this shithead aristocratic rich guy named Maxim who’s brother dies unexpectedly in a car accident so he has to take over his responsibilities now. The love interest is his new housekeeper, Alessia, who is an undocumented Albanian immigrant who escaped from a forced marriage her father put her in and the people that helped her escape ended up being sex traffickers. She also escaped them (but still a virgin tho because female characters have to be “pure” 🙄).
The book starts off with him screwing his brothers wife THE DAY HIS BROTHER DIED, and he doesn’t really even feel that bad. Maxim is upset because he has responsibilities when he wanted to live his life just screwing women (who he see as objects) and other useless things. There are weird, borderline incestuous descriptions of his mother who he hates. He talks about how his exercise is having a lot of sex. He’s also just the worst man you know (he is a DJ 🤮 and has nude photographs that he took on his wall). The POV shifts also feel like whiplash because Maxim is in 1st person POV but Alessia is in 3rd person. Alessia acts like a child. There is a lot of slander against Albanian people for some reason??? He leave his muddy shoes on the carpet for her to clean (and she’s not even mad about it). I feel like I’m in the head of a serial killer when I was reading this book. Genuinely would have worked good as a horror, but as a romance, it utterly fails.
The worst atrocity of the book, though, is that she is wearing SpongeBob pjs at one point and that is when the first sex scene is. There is, for some reason, an excessive mention of THE FUCKING SPONGEBOB PAJAMAS DURING THE SEX SCENE!!! LIKE THERE IS SO MUCH OF IT MY GOD!!!
Also, Colleen Hoover rated it 5 stars on Goodreads which is very funny to me.
Not a DJ 😂
LOL @ your Colleen Hoover comment 🤣 she would, wouldn’t she? :p
The more I read on the more my jaw dropped wtf
i dont know if you’ve seen folding ideas video essays about 50 shades, but in one of them he makes a point that the books could actually have worked as erotic horror instead of romance
Yes I love those videos!
What is it with the pattern in her books of men who intertwine their thoughts on their mother and their sex life? Very weird.
Freud has entered the chat…
Made for a great 4-5 episodes of “372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back” :D
Any books by this author annoy the shit out of me. There’s enough of a narrative and story to keep going - for better or worse there is a drive to find out what happens to the characters. But I just get so annoyed that such bad writing and story-telling has been rewarded with one of the most successful book series of our time.
If I was reading dodgy fanfic (as was originally intended) I wouldn’t care.
Having said that, there are some people I know that these are the only books they’ve read the whole way through since school. I’m sure that nets out positive somewhere!
These books will be made fun of by the descendants of the books’ readers. People will titter over how quaintly and how absurdly their great grandmothers got rid of their reading itch.
I can’t believe she wrote more stuff but I can believe she did the “incest/mother hate” BS again.
As an Albanian woman, this was painful to witness.
Product placement got to be a bit much.
I expect nothing less from Colleen Hoover. She’s right on brand.
Check ou 372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back. They have a series on The Mister, and it’s amazing.
BaaaHaHa! That is hilarious! 🤣 I am pretty convinced that anything by this artist is absolute garbage. But I find it so entertaining to read about how a terrible author she is. 🤣
50 shades of grey is also one of the worst books of all time, so this is entirely unsurprising information.
Why in the world am I seeing Colleen Hoover everywhere I look. Even in my local Walmart they had a stand with a bunch of her books. Who in the world is this author???