“The Mister” by E.L. James (50 shades of grey author 🥴) is genuinely one of the worst books I know. It’s basically this shithead aristocratic rich guy named Maxim who’s brother dies unexpectedly in a car accident so he has to take over his responsibilities now. The love interest is his new housekeeper, Alessia, who is an undocumented Albanian immigrant who escaped from a forced marriage her father put her in and the people that helped her escape ended up being sex traffickers. She also escaped them (but still a virgin tho because female characters have to be “pure” 🙄).
The book starts off with him screwing his brothers wife THE DAY HIS BROTHER DIED, and he doesn’t really even feel that bad. Maxim is upset because he has responsibilities when he wanted to live his life just screwing women (who he see as objects) and other useless things. There are weird, borderline incestuous descriptions of his mother who he hates. He talks about how his exercise is having a lot of sex. He’s also just the worst man you know (he is a DJ 🤮 and has nude photographs that he took on his wall). The POV shifts also feel like whiplash because Maxim is in 1st person POV but Alessia is in 3rd person. Alessia acts like a child. There is a lot of slander against Albanian people for some reason??? He leave his muddy shoes on the carpet for her to clean (and she’s not even mad about it). I feel like I’m in the head of a serial killer when I was reading this book. Genuinely would have worked good as a horror, but as a romance, it utterly fails.
The worst atrocity of the book, though, is that she is wearing SpongeBob pjs at one point and that is when the first sex scene is. There is, for some reason, an excessive mention of THE FUCKING SPONGEBOB PAJAMAS DURING THE SEX SCENE!!! LIKE THERE IS SO MUCH OF IT MY GOD!!!
Also, Colleen Hoover rated it 5 stars on Goodreads which is very funny to me.
Yes I love those videos!