It happened with Kalani and Asuelu. It was mentioned to Danielle when Yohan wanted to move to the U.S. Now, it’s Manuel demanding it from Ashley.
I understand that it’s a cultural thing, but why do parents want to put this kind of stress on their children? I feel like it’s a tradition that’s been passed down and since they did it for their parents, it is just expected. Even just a grace period to help them get on their feet before they start sending $200 or $300 a month could alleviate the stress.
I’m from Canada and it’s extremely financially hard here, I couldn’t imagine sending money to anyone every month. I don’t know exactly how it is in the U.S., but I would think $300 is still a lot for anyone to send monthly. Not to mention, these people only have one source of income since the person coming can’t legally work until they get their green card. I know that it’s really a lack of communication on their end, but it really seems that the family is demanding as well, like it is incredibly toxic. Is this a normal thing or is it just exaggerated for T.V.?
In some cultures, you have children so they can take care of you. That’s just how it goes. Indian culture is very similar.
This is honestly how it feels to me. And I think that is the absolute worst reason to have a child.
It goes deeper than having kids so they can pay for us when we get older. I can speak on behalf of indian families- we are raised to all support and take care of each other. That is how we financially, emotional and mentally thrive. We work as a unit- not a single family household. Typically our parents have sacrificed to give us better education and career opportunities then they had and we utilize their help for this. Then when they get older we take care of them, but they are still there for us emotionally and if we get married and have kids. Typically it is our parents that help watch the kids when we go to work. It’s just the way we build and stay in community and family to help us all grow and thrive.
If you actually get along the parent being supported are nice about it and it’s a give and take meaning they take care of the house and help with childcare so you can work to pay the bills Could you imagine moving Asuelus Mom in with you taking advantage talking crap to your face and then expects you to hand over anything above and beyond household bills? No thanks
So this system works if we all live in the same village (ie the grandparents can walk to parents house and take care of the grandbabies several times a week).
But if the parents are in a different country, this would not work?
^ please forgive my curiosity x
I’m not sure if you are aware that some countries don’t have pensions or retirement or social security, so your retirement is your children and grandchildren. Your parents take care of you when you are younger, pay for your food/clothes/etc, so you help them when they are older.
I am learning this now…
That makes more sense. Now only if my moms family had been more honest about my grandparents jobs and why they took care of them… migrant work didn’t have a retirement plan either. American born migrant workers, when they got too old to continue migrant work makes sense they settled down and had a couple more children.
My mom didn’t have retirement either or a job. She became disabled.
I am a crappy daughter.