Honestly - if my husband: -lied to my about my role in the marriage until immediately after the marriage -let his family ice me out -completely disregards my feelings -disregards the fact that I am depressed & tells me it’s a personal problem -gaslight the shit out of me every time I tried to talk about my feelings
I would probably scream too. I hear ya Kimberly! I’m starting to feel manic for her
I can only imagine he’s tired of her shit. From the first moment she walked in the house she has presented herself (been edited to appear??) in a petulant, entitled, naïf-ish way, spouting words that sound like self-empowerment but act as weapons and shields, keeping her in her American-ness. She isolates because of perceived barriers, failing to see that the connections can be stronger. It’s almost like she has a chip on her shoulder, evidenced by her seeming unwillingness to try to understand & appreciate the rituals of the wedding week ceremonies. Or to hang out as a family— like she is afraid of letting herself just be, to get comfortable together as a group and to experience each other’s energy despite language barriers and the doubts and mistrust stirred up by the “TJ misinformation machine”. Seriously, in-laws love that kind of thing: just be there, be pleasant, even if you have nothing to talk about, it’s ok. I bet Mummy would be tickled pink if Kim asked her to take her shopping , or to go to a movie (Bollywood!) or something together. My M-I-L’s appreciated that from me.
Of course she’s depressed. Staying home alone , in a little place, all day every day , for months , will do that to you. I find it hard to believe that this clever young woman doesn’t have the temerity to do something for herself. Surely there are other expats around (ooh, the dreaded “r” word is often applied here), to make connections with, or buses to ride and explore, or a library, or a park/ tea shop/ museum; why hasn’t she explored? Or did she “do it all” when she lived there for an entire year??!
Yoga? A volunteer position: I’d bet there are people around who could use help, possibly tutoring in English.
TJ needs to help her more, in so many ways. He is her only connection; this seems to overwhelm him, so he really needs to help her to spread her wings. Also to bring her down to dinner instead of eating with Mummy, aaaaand to make sure they have quality “couple time” instead of staying downstairs so much.
Everybody needs to drop their damn defenses