lord of the flies. i know it’s considered great literature, but it would also make great kindling. sorry, sorry sorry, that wasn’t a political statement. but 50 shades of grey would make a great pile of ash. ALSO, 1984. ALSO supposed to be great big important literature. sorry. i don’t like the book. never did.

i should be more accommodating. writer’s block is brutal. also, he might very well be counting his money. that must take a goodly amount of time, eh? …i’d maybe be willing to pay him $5 to pass the torch to Neil Gaiman. or Alan Moore.

if screams of derisive laughter were audible, you would all be experiencing some traumatic headaches right now…