I realize that by posting this question I’m cementing the fact that I’m similar to him I’m always needing validation, the same way he asked Diane if he’s doomed. But I, in real life, am struggling with addiction, I just had a conversation with my family after about a year of struggling with severe depression. I tried to explain that I don’t want to be this way but I can’t help but always feel shitty. They said that it was me who was propelling this cycle, which is true, but the story is so long, my life has been going like this for sooo long that I can’t remember what’s what anymore. So when they asked “why exactly are you depressed” I just said “I don’t know” over and over again and I tried to explain that it’s more of a state I’ve always been in, rather than an emotion from an event. The whole argument sort of had a “It’s you” tone. I don’t know. I told them I want to go to therapy, but they told me point blank that if I go back to my old ways that they’re done with me. I’m not sure what to do, I feel like it’s over.
Regarding your parents, they don’t get to make medical decisions for you anymore. You wouldn’t let your appendix burst because your parents don’t believe in surgery or antibiotics, right?
Regarding your grandfather, he definitely had untreated mental health issues, the whole country had PTSD in the years immediately following WW2, Korea, and Vietnam. That’s why pop culture in those eras leaned heavily on trivializing the abusive absentee father/husband
Regarding withdrawals, don’t be afraid of what might or might not happen- anxiety and depression often come together, making it difficult to scale the cost of change to various outcomes. Look at what’s happening to you right now. Not saying there’s no risk, leaving your home has risks. But the consequences of inaction are nigh guaranteed