I realize that by posting this question I’m cementing the fact that I’m similar to him I’m always needing validation, the same way he asked Diane if he’s doomed. But I, in real life, am struggling with addiction, I just had a conversation with my family after about a year of struggling with severe depression. I tried to explain that I don’t want to be this way but I can’t help but always feel shitty. They said that it was me who was propelling this cycle, which is true, but the story is so long, my life has been going like this for sooo long that I can’t remember what’s what anymore. So when they asked “why exactly are you depressed” I just said “I don’t know” over and over again and I tried to explain that it’s more of a state I’ve always been in, rather than an emotion from an event. The whole argument sort of had a “It’s you” tone. I don’t know. I told them I want to go to therapy, but they told me point blank that if I go back to my old ways that they’re done with me. I’m not sure what to do, I feel like it’s over.
*Gives you a tight hug*
You sound like you’re having a rough go, but you know you want to do better. And you have to want to do better for yourself, regardless of whether anyone else is there with or for you.
I know its hard to hear, but we have a limited amount of control over those around us and whether they wish to be in our lives. Sometimes we might hurt people but other times, it could be that they just simply don’t have the capacity to understand the type of pain or hurt or ache or depression we’ve lived with.
It’s a good sign that you want to attend therapy. No one is ever truly “doomed” unless they choose to remain fixed in that mindset, and no one can ever get “truly” better to the point where they just become perfect and lose the capacity to fuck up, but we can chose to do things that reduce or mitigate the fuckups we have.
PS, you can DM me if you ever want to talk. I myself am diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, and I believe that neither you nor Bojack are “doomed”, you’re still growing as a person.
Thank you, your words help a lot because I have done bad things, and people who are not familiar with depression simply see the bad things without seeing behind the curtain. It doesn’t make it okay, I really hurt people, but it feels good to be understood.
You’ll never be able to undo a bad thing, but you’re more than allowed to continue to live your life and seek and do better for yourself. I get it- Its very, very rough dealing with a harsh background, or addiction, or both. Maintain hope for yourself and take care of yourself the best you can.