You’ll never be able to undo a bad thing, but you’re more than allowed to continue to live your life and seek and do better for yourself. I get it- Its very, very rough dealing with a harsh background, or addiction, or both. Maintain hope for yourself and take care of yourself the best you can.
*Gives you a tight hug*
You sound like you’re having a rough go, but you know you want to do better. And you have to want to do better for yourself, regardless of whether anyone else is there with or for you.
I know its hard to hear, but we have a limited amount of control over those around us and whether they wish to be in our lives. Sometimes we might hurt people but other times, it could be that they just simply don’t have the capacity to understand the type of pain or hurt or ache or depression we’ve lived with.
It’s a good sign that you want to attend therapy. No one is ever truly “doomed” unless they choose to remain fixed in that mindset, and no one can ever get “truly” better to the point where they just become perfect and lose the capacity to fuck up, but we can chose to do things that reduce or mitigate the fuckups we have.
PS, you can DM me if you ever want to talk. I myself am diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, and I believe that neither you nor Bojack are “doomed”, you’re still growing as a person.
Hell yeah! Except not as an abusive dad, he’s just the most well-functioning depressed male with parental issues.