I realize that by posting this question I’m cementing the fact that I’m similar to him I’m always needing validation, the same way he asked Diane if he’s doomed. But I, in real life, am struggling with addiction, I just had a conversation with my family after about a year of struggling with severe depression. I tried to explain that I don’t want to be this way but I can’t help but always feel shitty. They said that it was me who was propelling this cycle, which is true, but the story is so long, my life has been going like this for sooo long that I can’t remember what’s what anymore. So when they asked “why exactly are you depressed” I just said “I don’t know” over and over again and I tried to explain that it’s more of a state I’ve always been in, rather than an emotion from an event. The whole argument sort of had a “It’s you” tone. I don’t know. I told them I want to go to therapy, but they told me point blank that if I go back to my old ways that they’re done with me. I’m not sure what to do, I feel like it’s over.
I wish I realized as early as you, but I’m a couple months on antidepressants now and it is so fucking weird to not hate myself? I don’t feel the need to drink or do other stuff anymore. I can just be content drawing, or doing sports. I am more friendly at work. I can think of a future without getting panicked. It’s amazing
Right now I don’t see how I could stop taking those pills. How did you decide to go off them? That seems really scary to me right now.