My parents and my younger sister do not want me to be okay and happy and everything is worse now.
As a breadwinner in my family, I never received such fair treatment coming from my parents. I just work all the time, and I am currently sick due to overfatigue and was not able to go to work for a week now. They are just expecting too much out of my when I feel like their expectations is really a burden now. They even meddle with my personal affairs, like love, which my sister didn’t even experience. My parents let my sister do all the things she wants to even if caused a lot of money or even if she will abandon all her duties inside our house. To the point that it is normal for her to return to the house at 5am in the morning. But when I do that, I would get an earful and will sooner receive a silent treatment for weeks.
But today would be the worst of it all. I am currently in a relationship after being single for 2 years. I am happy. I have a lot of plans. I want to be with her. However, my parents at first were understanding (or do they) but when my sister came in to the scene, they left me long messages, meddling with my relationship, discouraging me and even gaslighting me to the point that I remember that these are things that stopped me in looking for someone that I could love and soon marry. And I think that this dream of mine won’t happen again.
I am tired. O God, please help me.
Sorry to hear about your situation. I think the best course of action is to physically and emotionally distance yourself from your family, which is easier said than done. I should know; di ko pa nga rin nagagawa, eh, LOL.
Physically: How are your finances? Your job security? Can you move out and support yourself? If not, you need to get to this point first. In my experience, kahit anong therapy and meds mo, if same lang yung environment, hindi ka rin talaga mag-iimprove mentally kasi laging present yung source of all your problems. If you live in the metro, rent is going to be very expensive, but the outskirts (Rizal, Antipolo, Cavite, Bulacan) may be easier to afford.
Emotionally: Cutting off your family or reducing contact with them is not easy, especially in Filipino culture. Sometimes, it feels downright impossible because of cultural traits like utang na loob. If you do decide to move out, you need to also adjust your way of thinking. Train yourself early to stop feeling guilty about leaving your family behind. They will have lots to say about your decision and may even talk to relatives behind your back. But if that’s the price of your peace of mind, then it’s worth it. Hayaan mo na lang sila. You can’t let other people stop you from improving your mental health. I’m also the breadwinner in my family so I don’t give this advice lightly. I know the consequences. But if they treat you like shit, then you need to get out, simple as that.
Regarding therapy, maganda talaga na maumpisahan yan as early as possible. There are counselors and therapists who conduct online sessions; these might be easier for you than going to their office. Note lang na expensive din ang therapy (usually at least ₱2k per session, pero baka may mas mura) so these will cut into your expenses.
Finding the love of your life may feel like the most important goal right now, but your relationships will keep on failing as long as your situation is the same. Your family will keep on meddling. So, change your situation first as much as you can. You’ll feel better about yourself, and you’ll have better relationships as a result.
As of right now, the situation of my finances is not that great. Since I am planning to resign to my current post and find a new job with higher salary offering. That would be the only option that I have right now, so that the plan on moving out would be much more possible. I am also looking at Rizal and Antipolo since I have a friend who have an apartment there and the rent is cheap.
Regarding about me moving out, I am okay with it. I won’t get homesick or anything like that. I just do not have any means to move out so that’s why I am staying and swallowing it all up.
In terms of therapy, I have a pending schedule in UPGH for a mental Health consultation, it’s free and the only think I have to worry is the pricey medications but I think that would be viable.
And yes I do agree with you on everything you mentioned about love. I would be able to love and receive love also if I am okay and better.