Why I think he is emotionally abusive:

  1. He doesn’t translate everything as he should and only translates in a manner that suits his situation and needs.

  2. Omits essential information all the time.

  3. Right before the wedding he decides to break up because she confided in her parents. But it’s okay when he does the same and turns everyone against her. Who runs to their mommy after there’s been a fight with a partner and talks shit about them to their entire family?

4.He always has to have the upper hand: Threatens to leave Kimberly or asks her to leave in every fight, Whenever he is asked to make a compromise - “Am I your servant?” “I’m not your servant” wth does that even mean?

  1. In effect he has entirely isolated her from his family and is trying to isolate her from her own family too.

  2. Straight up lied about the family situation and “wifely duties”.

  3. No safe space for Kimberly to go to, no one to confide in

Controlling someone in that manner and stripping away their identity bit by bit is absolutely not okay. I say this not because Kimberly is expected to make compromises, but because she is being expected to keep quiet about things that bother her and change the way she thinks. The situation is classic 101 guide in how to break someone’s spirit and make them complacent.

  • Lizard_Li@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    I’m so annoyed by how often the term “abusive” is thrown around on Reddit.

    Like are you all perfect communicators with your partners and never get triggered or fight poorly?

    TJ has his issue and so does his partner. Hopefully they will figure them out and get better at being partners to each other. I think they do love each other but both has serious communication problems and seem to get triggered extremely easily. Kimberly is the louder one so people have focused on her, but he is also problematic. But not abusive.

    • PerpetualEternal@alien.topBEnglish
      1·
      1 year ago
      1. He is the man in a traditional hetero relationship
      2. He is already In the country and household where the married couple will live
      3. He lied about or omitted vital information about his wife’s new life
      4. He has the unequivocal support of a family who have refused to treat his new wife with respect

      What part of this doesn’t qualify as some level of abuse?