In a similar vein to the question posted earlier today, I wanted to know what book reco would you see as a huge green flag when dating, and why?
My answer: Lonesome Dove
Why: It delves into themes of friendship, loyalty, and the complexities of human relationships. If they like the book it tells me they have an understanding of the nuanced dynamics that make human connections meaningful.
The Poetics Of Space
Is right good or bad? I never did online dating. I’d say the following tho
Yes: Hitchhikers guide
Pass: Confederacy of Dunces
Swipe right: The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Swipe left: the bible
Right: any other book by Kundera
I didn’t expect my own answers to be at the top of controversial. I’m so edgy.
Left hand of darkness
Any le Guin would get me interested in a first date. I’d also be happy to have a polite but heated debate about why I prefer The Word for World is Forest
Word for World is Forest is simultaneously a scathing critique of the Vietnam war and a commentary on the westward expansion and the brutalities inflicted upon that Native American peoples living in North America.
It’s also better paced and a faster read. Love that book so much.
Regardless of which is better, The Word for World is Forest is underrated (or rather…needs more exposure relative to her other works?). Powerful story
Or The Dispossessed
Or The Lathe of Heaven
Or really anything Le Guin ever wrote tbh
When I take you to The Valley
T H E D I S P O S S E S S E D
I have a slew of tattered Ursala novels that were my moms and which at some point many years ago I’ve read but I’ve not recalled so reminds me to dig th out and read again
Getting nostalgic about any children’s book. People talk differently about books they loved as children than they do about books that are written for adults.
My husband and I were friends for years before we started dating, but when we got serious, I bought him Matilda and Harriet the Spy, so that he could get to know what I’d been like as a kid. (Though tbf I was only 13 when we met, so it wasn’t like he didn’t already have an inkling!)
I love that!!
Idk how generally that applies. I def have a much stronger relationship with the books I’ve loved as an adult. I still like Harry Potter, Eragon, Dragonriders of Pern, A Series of Unfortunate Events, and so on…but most of it tends to feel shallow, significantly flawed, or both, as of my last readings.
Cradle by Will Wight and The Wandering Inn inspire more childlike joy and fascination for me. Robin Hobb hits the emotional notes in a way no one else can. Malazan, The Exapanse, The Witcher, Grossman, GRRM, even Tolstoy and Dumas, all feel more impactful and I could wax on about them much more comfortably than I could my childhood faves. Maybe the overlap would be like Tolkien, Twain, Pullman, and a few of OSC’s books (Ender’s Game, Ender’s Shadow, and Speaker for the Dead as a set), things I enjoyed as a kid but which I understood very differently as I grew and reread.
I got married before the swiping era and was going to say Mein Kampf. Needless to say I’m glad I kept reading for context.
Honestly, I think I’d just be thrilled they also like to read.
I literally wrote, “Mein Kampf,” then realized my error. “Shit, no, fuck… delete!”
Ok. I also struggled with the swipe direction and was shocked when I read “Lonesome Dove” haha
Ocean Vuong poetry collections (so Time is a Mother or Night Sky with Exit Wounds.)
I loved On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous but Ocean Vuong is a poet first and foremost and I think it really shows in the novel. It’s almost like an unrefined, cliched version of his poetry. Many of the same themes get brought up but with a lot more finesse and care put into it. If poetry had a bigger audience NSwEW definitely would’ve been more than enough to make him a national star (it did in poetry but well, we know how small that category is if you’re not pedalling Kaur-style poetry that slaps you with the meaning).
James Clavell’s books but specifically Shogun. Possibly my favorite book and each time it hits me in a new way.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
If a girl has read that, she will most likely know what it takes to have a happy relationship. And she will be a strong communicator
The Silmarillion.
Is there any need to explain myself ?
None at all.
Between The World And Me, Ta-Nehisi Coates
Why: Tells me they are aware of and can critically think about things beyond their own self and background.
Ready Player One
Why: Because I would know they have low standards so I might have a chance
house of leaves or flowers for algernon
Any book that I’ve read.
Even if I disagree it would be a very interesting discussion topic for the 1st date.
It would make the date more interesting and through the discussion about why they rated it 5/5 I would get a bigger picture about their personality and thoughts.
Maybe it will end up in a heated discussion. I like seeing people debating passionately about something they care about and since they rated it 5/5 this kind of situation is likely.
And who knows maybe after the passionate discussion something more passionate will happen later. wink
Anything by Brandon Sanderson