My mom’s male friend bought me “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” by Steve Harvey from family feud when I was about 18. Awful book full of advice like “if your man cheats, it’s your fault.” I told my mom to drop that friend!

I was too young to remember this, but my parents still laugh at the story of an extended family member giving me, a toddler, a bound copy of the US Constitution. I actually could read at the time, but that did NOT mean I was interested in a small book with zero pictures filled with big words in small text.

This family member has given really great and thoughtful gifts for as long as I can remember, so I have a hard time picturing this story happening, but according to my parents that incident was when he learned to find out what people want as gifts.

A book entitled ‘how to be a good wife’ and gifted my husband the counterpart.

Remember getting gifted a book called “man up”. It genuinely had some good insights on how to look after yourself and some good skills to pick up, but to say the least I felt insulted when I unwrapped it.

The entire Left Behind series, year by year.

A Bible.

Literally anything nonfiction ESPECIALLY when it’s about politics. I love to read and my family knows this, but the ones who attempt to get me books will either pick up any YA novel with good reviews and an important message, or they’ll get a book they saw on some late night political show. I appreciate that you want me to be well read but I just want to read about magic and romance thank you. I already live in the real world I don’t want to read it too. T-T

The book itself was great, my use of it in the first 30 seconds after opening the gift was questionable. I was about 10 years old and liked to learn unusual words and obscure vocabulary. A sibling bought me some book for Christmas, the title was something like DICTIONARY OF UNUSUAL WORDS AND OBSCURE VOCABULARY. The extended family (other siblings, aunts, uncles, my parents) were gathered around and someone said, “Go ahead, teach us a new word!”

So I opened the book at random, saw a word I didn’t know, and (after looking carefully at the pronunciation key), announced, loudly:

“COITUS.”

Evidently, I was not the only person who didn’t know the word, because someone said, “Huh? What’s the definition?” Which I then read aloud. During the immediate and profoundly awkward silence, my mom suggested it was time for cookies and egg nog for everyone!

This book was quickly set aside on the shelf and not consulted publicly again, that I can recall.

Angela’s Ashes. Joy to the world, everyone.

Mother in law gave me Jesus Christ - Our Promised Seed one year. I’m an atheist, and she knows that.

I think I once received something from Philip Pullman, Northern Lights or The Amber Spyglass… I don’t like Philip Pullman and just couldn’t get into it at all (I was much younger than I am now).

Metro 2035, not at all because it’s a bad book. I had asked for it for Christmas and my Mom trying to be nice put down the money for a hardcover copy. But she didn’t know the hardcover only comes in Russian so it was essentially useless. Thankfully it was able to be returned for the paperback I had asked for lol

Some rubbish self-help book that was advertised on Dr. Phil.

Someone got me The Art of the Deal by Trump. This was just after he was elected in 2016 so I decided to give it a try. DNF

The Bible after my father passed away. Southern in-laws felt I needed comfort and solace in the true and only father, GOD.

I’m Buddhist.