Honestly - if my husband: -lied to my about my role in the marriage until immediately after the marriage -let his family ice me out -completely disregards my feelings -disregards the fact that I am depressed & tells me it’s a personal problem -gaslight the shit out of me every time I tried to talk about my feelings
I would probably scream too. I hear ya Kimberly! I’m starting to feel manic for her
I do think she has valid concerns and issues, what’s causing more problems is her way of expressing those concerns. Especially the moment she’s challenged.
When bringing up issues it should always be assumed a full back-and-forth discussion is needed and if you need a moment to think to counter something, take that moment. Don’t just break down and scream?
But also, I get the frustration with not being heard. There’s a point where you just have to leave toxic people and situations like that. And if I were her, I’d have left way sooner.
What exactly is she supposed to say when she clearly communicates that she’s depressed and would like him to hug her and he says “I’m not doing that?” There’s not much more back and forth left to do at that point.
Screaming is not going to do anything productive. It’s only going to make things worse for yourself and it enables the person you’re trying to reason with being able to justify that you’re the irrational one.
I agree that the whole family is unbearable. That’s why if people treat you like that and there’s nothing you can do to make it better, remove yourself from them. There’s no need to make the situation worse. There was plenty of reason for her to leave even before they got married, it was obvious no one in that family has any intention of growing or changing for the better.
She screamed because she was so frustrated that she literally couldn’t hold it in, she didn’t do it purposely to be a brat.
That’s still not a healthy or appropriate way to respond. I’d understand a toddler doing that but as an adult it’s not acceptable.
She has choices. She chose to continue to remain there and be treated that way.
AGAIN, because this seems to be going over your head, she’d never have to scream if she just avoided and left these people. It’s completely avoidable. She’s not being held against her will.
She doesn’t want to leave, she wants to be treated better. That’s why she’s so frustrated. Some people want to fight for their marriage and not just leave when times are tough.
Being mature and wise means knowing what you can and cannot control. You can’t control how other people act but you can control how you respond. Screaming is immature. Knowing when to leave is mature.
Being mature and wise means knowing what you can an cannot control. You can’t control how other people act but you can control how you respond. Screaming is immature. Knowing when to leave is mature.
This whole situation has been tough from the beginning. There was no indication it’d get better. Anyone who thinks a situation like that would get better is honestly very delusional.
I agree completely, but There is a whole hell of a lot else that came between the wedding and this convo and if we are honest this was a breakup conversation between Kim and Tjs mom. Because tj cannot effectively communicate with either of them. His mother is in the power role over him and he assumed he would have the same role over Kim.