Ungrateful? Her brain chemistry didn’t work correctly. She had a medical condition…depression. Sylvia Plath is known for her depression and eventual suicide. Why do you think you would gain common sense from reading unedited journals of anyone? They’re just our most private thoughts, as they happen.

You need to broaden your horizons. Lots of romance books do have problematic elements, but so do lots of non-romance books. A vast number of romance books contain no explicit scenes at all (and some are as explicit as the most explicit hardcore porn).

If you’re cherry-picking your examples from TikTok, Wattpad, Reddit, or Instagram, of course you’re running into the most heightened examples. But there’s romance out there that’s healthy, gentle, non-explicit (some is so closed door there’s not even kissing), etc.

As far as concerning? Do I worry when I see people want relationships they see in books that aren’t healthy? Sure; but believe me, the modeling of healthy family and relationship dynamics is a) pretty poor in most books and b) have you actually talked to readers who read mostly genre romance? They read it for the same reasons people who read thrillers, horror, mystery, and sci-fi do. Heightened emotions, drama, an escape from real life. And most people are able to separate fantasy from reality.

I might personally prefer romances that embody healthy relationships, but I in no way think that means other people aren’t as capable of differentiating what’s in their books from what they should want in life as I am. Romance readers aren’t less intelligent than lit readers or fantasy readers.

Hamlet only has a 4.2. Go pick 20 great books, from anywhere, and check what their goodreads rating is. In Son of Interflux by Gordon Korman, the main character doesn’t win an art award. Instead, he only places. His art teacher basically tells him it’s because the masses don’t recognize brilliance. The same applies to great books read by people who aren’t looking for the kind of intense thought that most great books require in order to really understand and appreciate them.

Well, I think it might depend on what people are posting as a response. Nearly everyone is problematic, as I learned when I was doing my history degree. That doesn’t mean their art isn’t beautiful, their music isn’t sublime, or that their writing doesn’t help one transcend into an alternate universe.

While I might choose not to be friends with someone problematic, or might perhaps choose to purchase a living artist’s works secondhand so they don’t directly benefit; I’m not really willing to throw out 99% of the artistic products of humanity. And I think that we focus a lot on the problematic nature of artists (to include writers, artists, musicians, etc.), when we benefit daily from the inventions, resources, businesses, etc. of a whole world of exploitative, problematic individuals and corporations but don’t funnel even close to the same energy into decrying the issues of individuals or businesses because they help make our lives materially easier on a daily, even hourly basis. The phone I’m typing on right now, the conglomerates that develop apps and software, are all as dangerous for the world as a problematic author. But it’s easier to focus our wrath on the individual.

I think there are always some individuals responding online who are just truly heinous individuals, who live to make others as miserable as they are. But for the most part, I think Reddit and other modern forums are much less conversational than the forums of old, partially just because of the number of users, and partially because it’s not very often a back and forth conversation between users. Rather, it’s a user asking a question or stating an opinion, and the rest of us shouting our own into the void, hoping someone else catches our words as they hurtle outwards.

This sub can be frustrating for me sometimes because my opinions aren’t at all popular. I get a lot of pushback. But I usually feel that’s because other people feel as strongly about books as I do; they care. I get really good engagement, even with people who are truly upset with my opinion; people who are willing to discuss. It’s made me rethink my own opinions in several cases. That’s really rare these days; to find a community like that. So it makes it easier to put up with the vocal curmudgeonly minority.

I’ve never read a romance novel of any kind with a totally healthy, mutual, equal relationship. There are always issues, even in really positive books. Jealous women, obsessive men, alpha antics, miscommunication, possessiveness; what have you.

I come out of romance books appreciating my real life relationship even more because it’s based on equality of relationship, no one person “protecting” or “possessing” another, no one trying to shove particular roles down anyone’s throat, etc.

I collect them (and read them).

I’ve read my whole life; I just always loved it. I’m reading Early Medieval Art by Kitzinger right now.

Nope. I loved reading too much and had usually read the books before I had to read them in school.

I did end up hating Romeo and Juliet more than when I read it myself. I switched schools in 9th grade and had to read it twice and watch the Zeffirelli film twice.

I haven’t read any but reviews, but already strongly disagree. Of course our choices are based on everything that happens in our life (and genetics, etc.). Isn’t that a given? Someone born in poverty doesn’t have the same choices someone born into wealth does. Someone in Nepal will have vastly different choices than someone in Canada, or Mexico, or South Africa. It’s the everyday, minute choices we make in those circumscribed conditions that are the basis of free will. Do we go left or right? If we’re fundamentally not a good person but choose to do good every single time the opportunity presents itself, are we not better than someone with the ability to do good always who does it only sometimes? If I choose black instead of pink, even if that’s because I was always dressed in pastels as a child, it’s still a choice. I’ve thought about why it matters that I’m making this choice as an adult even if I have the ability to make another.

I respectfully decline to even consider lack of free will. If there isn’t any, there’s no point to humanity it being alive. I have no plans to read the book, it would only enrage me; even as a thought experiment.

Middle aged men shouldn’t drop dead all the time, though. If you’re not shocked every single time, there’s something wrong.