This lady was an absent mother to her child and left him with the trauma of growing up without a protective/loving mother. He adapted and grew up accordingly. They have a very limited relationship now. She has no place shitting on his current relationship because she dislikes the way Mary treats him. This is some major dysfunctional projection.
Also, Brandan made some comment that he hopes Mary is nice to his mom and doesn’t trigger any sort of relapse. Mary should not have to walk on eggshells or put up with his mom’s nasty attitude because his mom has an addiction.
Also, her comments about the Phillipines and the poverty made her look like such an ignorant, arrogant American. I doubt she made an effort or took any interest to learn anything about the culture or language prior to her visit - even though her grandchild is from there.
I would cut her slack if she and Brandan were really close and/or she had been a supportive mother to him. But literally all she brings to the table in his life is negativity. She failed him as a mom, and now she seems to want Mary to let him down as well.
It’s not an either/or thing. Both Brandan’s mother and Mary suck. They are negative, possessive, manipulative, petty, insecure, and abusive people. Brandan learned this is all he’s worth, and he’s acting accordingly. The situation is so dead end, and it’s not fun to watch. I’ll be relieved when they aren’t on my favorite guilty pleasure shows anymore. I can’t delight in their stupidity because it’s more sickness and unresolved trauma than it is just plain dumb decisions.
Oh, and OP, I’m not responding to your point as much as I am the people who are coming at you that this is about Mary. I agree with you that the mom is negative AF and her negativity isn’t helpful. She should come in with a little bit of grace of for no other reason than that Mary and Brandan are so young. My son and his girlfriend are this age and I constantly keep in mind that I’m supposed to be the mature one, being 25+ years older than they are.