This lady was an absent mother to her child and left him with the trauma of growing up without a protective/loving mother. He adapted and grew up accordingly. They have a very limited relationship now. She has no place shitting on his current relationship because she dislikes the way Mary treats him. This is some major dysfunctional projection.
Also, Brandan made some comment that he hopes Mary is nice to his mom and doesn’t trigger any sort of relapse. Mary should not have to walk on eggshells or put up with his mom’s nasty attitude because his mom has an addiction.
Also, her comments about the Phillipines and the poverty made her look like such an ignorant, arrogant American. I doubt she made an effort or took any interest to learn anything about the culture or language prior to her visit - even though her grandchild is from there.
I would cut her slack if she and Brandan were really close and/or she had been a supportive mother to him. But literally all she brings to the table in his life is negativity. She failed him as a mom, and now she seems to want Mary to let him down as well.
Also she was completely rude to Mary. I know Mary is insufferable and doesn’t make it easy for people to like her, but Branden’s mom is older and she should have at least put in an effort to ask about the pregnancy, or whatever else. Mary is annoying af, but she’s the girl that Branden has chosen to have a child with, so she needs to suck it up.
I was like well if she relapses there, she’s not going to be able to find anything anyways LOL
Nah mary is toxic as hell, she’s jealous of his mom and sister! ill never forget how she was online, nope. we will see how the rest of the visit goes tho.
1 thing and you cant deny is his mom said the exact same things we did here about those 2 toxic lazy humans making another human in their mess
Exactly Brandon’s mother isn’t exactly perfect but at the same time Mary is already proving herself as an abuser, first step is isolating Brandon from his family/support network and that jealousy towards female family members is just down right disrespectful!
This post is not about Mary. It is about a neglectful mom who picks and chooses when to intervene and “be there” for her son. At this point, she has no place helping decide what is best for her son.
Is this Mary? Of course it’s about Mary because she’s toxic and abusive af. Regardless what issues Brandon’s mom has she will always love her son. It’s a natural instinct to protect a son against such a manipulative person. She’s the worst that 90DF has ever had.
Couldn’t intervene before due to addiction.
Choosing to intervene now because she is clean and finally capable. Are you saying that she shouldn’t intervene now because she was a mess before? I, personally, think that would be continuing the neglect.
This…seems very personal to you, as do most of your comments.
I was just thinking that. Seems a bit like projection…
You are on point op. Mom was never there when he needed her. Now she’s shows up to guilt trip him and criticize his marriage…… thanks mom. The best thing she could do is just show up and be supportive. Two things Brandan likely never got from her.
Mary is 🚮.
She’s barely in her son’s life as is and just took the opportunity to visit bc the show paid for it. If the show isn’t paying for it, she will probably never be back to see her grandchildren.
She was an awful mom but the fact that she’s trying to prevent Brandon from marrying another awful woman is a good thing regardless of her background. Brandon has proven himself to be beyond stupid to do it with an abusive girl who has been treating him like absolute crap and subsequently marry her. She so obviously doesn’t like him or care about him but he’s too damaged to see that. If Brandon’s mom’s actions lead to the breakup that the fandom has been hoping for, I’m all for it.
She was a bad mom in the past because she had an addiction. If she is cleaned up now, it would follow that she’s in a better place to be supportive of her son. She is right about how toxic Mary is.
Maybe they haven’t shown it, but I don’t get supportive vibes from her at all. They talk once a month at most. And it seems like all she wants to talk about is how horrible Mary is, instead of getting to know and building a relationship with her son.
i been saying!!! she tryna act like mom of the year after fucking her kids life up lol
Her lack of self awareness is astounding. Imagine abandoning your child and then thinking you get any sort of say in his life.
She really asserts herself on this show, but she has no concept that the audience only knows one thing about her, and that is that she is a literal piece of shit, so it does not read appropriately protective mom.
Finally, she never once, not at all, in any way connects her own abandonment of her child with that child’s inability to form a healthy relationship.
Exactly! It is a lack of self awareness compounded with entitlement. She is awful.
People are gonna brush away her neglect, criminal abandonment and former meth use that landed him in the foster care system and say she’s still his mom and should get him away from Mary. Yawn
Mary is also a delusional crazy person and is also toxic for Brandon but as the saying goes, we end up dating our parents…
Yes she fucked up in her addiction but her points of disapproval are reasonable and logical.
Right, Mary is awful.
That said, when you’ve been an absent parent for your child’s whole life, I don’t think it is your place to step in once they’re 23 and criticize their choices to hell. At least get to know them and build a meaningful relationship with them first, which according to Brandan, they don’t have, (speaking on the phone maybe once per month).
As someone who has a very checkered relationship with his mom, I’d put a lot more pressure on my mom rather than my partner (not that Mary’s the best cup of tea you could have). Bridging a gap and rebuilding a relationship with your child, she should I believe really tried to lean into Brandans needs, but yet she wants to mom him. Not gonna happen. I don’t see anything positive coming out of this next but they’re about to pull off. As much as I think brandan should take Mary and his kids America’s for a better life, first impressions, his mom probably shouldn’t have much to do with that. He obv did well enough for himself to build his gf’s family a house in the Philippines, but if he bounced back to the us, now Mary’s family has something nice and would possibly forever be respected by them by the work that was put in. Brandan doesn’t have enough ambition in his life right now and he isn’t sticking to his guns and trusting Mary that this is what their life will be. It doesn’t have to be like that though
It’s not an either/or thing. Both Brandan’s mother and Mary suck. They are negative, possessive, manipulative, petty, insecure, and abusive people. Brandan learned this is all he’s worth, and he’s acting accordingly. The situation is so dead end, and it’s not fun to watch. I’ll be relieved when they aren’t on my favorite guilty pleasure shows anymore. I can’t delight in their stupidity because it’s more sickness and unresolved trauma than it is just plain dumb decisions.
Oh, and OP, I’m not responding to your point as much as I am the people who are coming at you that this is about Mary. I agree with you that the mom is negative AF and her negativity isn’t helpful. She should come in with a little bit of grace of for no other reason than that Mary and Brandan are so young. My son and his girlfriend are this age and I constantly keep in mind that I’m supposed to be the mature one, being 25+ years older than they are.
Mother aside, it’s unfortunate he couldn’t even spend time with his sister because of Mary. This guy didn’t appear to have any friends or anyone beyond his god parents when he was in the states. He really should have made wildly different choices two years ago.