This lady was an absent mother to her child and left him with the trauma of growing up without a protective/loving mother. He adapted and grew up accordingly. They have a very limited relationship now. She has no place shitting on his current relationship because she dislikes the way Mary treats him. This is some major dysfunctional projection.
Also, Brandan made some comment that he hopes Mary is nice to his mom and doesn’t trigger any sort of relapse. Mary should not have to walk on eggshells or put up with his mom’s nasty attitude because his mom has an addiction.
Also, her comments about the Phillipines and the poverty made her look like such an ignorant, arrogant American. I doubt she made an effort or took any interest to learn anything about the culture or language prior to her visit - even though her grandchild is from there.
I would cut her slack if she and Brandan were really close and/or she had been a supportive mother to him. But literally all she brings to the table in his life is negativity. She failed him as a mom, and now she seems to want Mary to let him down as well.
Feels like she knows she was a shitty mom and is trying to keep his life from getting even more screwed up and very likely feels responsible for this in a way. I’m sure on some level he feels the same way you do about it----that she has no right to come in and play perfect mommy now after fumbling the ball so badly in his childhood. He’s certainly within his rights to think and say that to her. But I don’t think she’s wrong for trying, and I don’t think it’s because she “doesn’t want him to be happy”.
It would be one thing if they really were doing good emotionally or mentally or financially or in any way whatsoever and she was just hating on them, but it’s clear to anyone with sense that this situation is not going to lead to actual, functional happiness. They’re already broke and miserable and adding more mouths to feed. Logic would tell you there’s nothing to be happy about.
It’s like someone suggesting to Brandan that pretending to eat won’t actually get him full, and an observer says “wow it’s like she doesn’t want him to eat!”