Obviously both got their own issues, but I think it’s another incredibly toxic thing of Mary to expect Brandan to bend over backwards to please her family, and yet she puts absolute 0 effort into her relationship with his.
During the last ep, Brandan even mentioned again hoping to reconnect with his mom, so she should know that this is important to him. If she truly loves him she would at least try. But as soon as they came face to face, she already gave her the stink face and even called her mean/bitch on camera. It’s obvious that she didn’t intend to cave in and be the first to draw the white flag per se, but how hard was it to actually act like she was happy to see her? Or be a tad bit welcoming and cordial.
Another thing that bugged me was (pun intended lol), was when Brandan was fishing out insects in the room for his mom since she is afraid, and Mary was just laughing at her. Fine, she doesn’t like the mom, but Filipinos or even Asians in general are very big on hospitality and overall just making their guests comfortable. Seeing as her family is still traditional, you would think she would hold the same value but we see none of it.
What it reads to me: she doesn’t care about the things and people that are important to Brandan.
We see from the start that she isolates him, even from his own mother and sister. Regardless of the mom’s history, it’s Brandan’s decision if he wants contact with her. She also mentioned during the ep, that if Brandan won’t have her back (regarding the MIL) then she just won’t marry him. I usually would understand obviously wanting your future husband to be on your side all the time but she creates this thing where it’s either her or his mom. She can at least try for him. It’s incredibly isolating to be in a foreign country, with just your partner and her family and gossiping neighbours, and a language you don’t speak. Let the man have at least some type of support system, even from miles away
Mary is awful and regardless of whether or not Brandan’s mom is a former drug addict, that doesn’t change the serious red flags that the relationship between Mary and Brandan has. These two are dysfunctional AF and if a a former addict can see it, I find it hard to believe all of the “upstanding people” on this sub can’t see it. If Brandan was isolating Mary from her family and trying to drive a wedge between them, people would rightly express concern over how problematic that behavior is. Mary is an adult. An immature one but an adult. The same as Brandan. She doesn’t get a pass for sucking just like he doesn’t get a pass for being lazy.
Yes, exactly this!! People like to take sides, and because the mom is a drug addict and quite unlikable, suddenly Mary seems better and is just “protective” over Brandan. As if all her other toxic behaviors and patterns don’t exist. Both are just not right for each other, or for anyone right now for that matter.