Obviously both got their own issues, but I think it’s another incredibly toxic thing of Mary to expect Brandan to bend over backwards to please her family, and yet she puts absolute 0 effort into her relationship with his.
During the last ep, Brandan even mentioned again hoping to reconnect with his mom, so she should know that this is important to him. If she truly loves him she would at least try. But as soon as they came face to face, she already gave her the stink face and even called her mean/bitch on camera. It’s obvious that she didn’t intend to cave in and be the first to draw the white flag per se, but how hard was it to actually act like she was happy to see her? Or be a tad bit welcoming and cordial.
Another thing that bugged me was (pun intended lol), was when Brandan was fishing out insects in the room for his mom since she is afraid, and Mary was just laughing at her. Fine, she doesn’t like the mom, but Filipinos or even Asians in general are very big on hospitality and overall just making their guests comfortable. Seeing as her family is still traditional, you would think she would hold the same value but we see none of it.
What it reads to me: she doesn’t care about the things and people that are important to Brandan.
We see from the start that she isolates him, even from his own mother and sister. Regardless of the mom’s history, it’s Brandan’s decision if he wants contact with her. She also mentioned during the ep, that if Brandan won’t have her back (regarding the MIL) then she just won’t marry him. I usually would understand obviously wanting your future husband to be on your side all the time but she creates this thing where it’s either her or his mom. She can at least try for him. It’s incredibly isolating to be in a foreign country, with just your partner and her family and gossiping neighbours, and a language you don’t speak. Let the man have at least some type of support system, even from miles away
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She insisted on being on video call when he visited his family. That’s batshit crazy behavior. It’s not going to get better without serious professional intervention.
I know someone like this, she wanted to be on call with the dude all the time so she can hear his surroundings. School, family trips etc… up until this day I don’t think she fully accepts that it was incredibly toxic on her part and focuses on his shortcomings instead. People like that usually justify it by saying they were cheated on, other traumas etc., which yes explains the extreme distrust but in no way functional in a relationship
I can’t wait to watch the Lifetime True Crime movie on these two in the future.
She’s not a teenager. There are zero excuses for her bad manners. You can be poor and still have manners.
You’re right, we see even see Brandan having to ask Lolo for permission to do this and that. Brandan would be accused of being an ignorant American if he behaved the same way as Mary. She doesn’t get a pass because she’s young and immature, so is Brandan.
See- i feel like that’s all producer forced bs. I don’t think Lolo gives 2 shits as long as Mary is taken care of.
At least Brandon’s mom smiled at her, and even if she didn’t mean it on the inside was cordial to her. Mary put out zero effort…nothing…just stared at her with hate. But she’s expecting their second child so I don’t know…maybe they came to some understanding, or Brandon just walked away from his mom🤷🙄
Yes, exactly! At least try for your future husband.
I heard the pics were old ones from her first pregnancy tho! And she’s not expecting a second child (thank God lol)
Only one child. The “recent” pics they have been sharing are from the pregnancy on the show.
Mary glared the whole time. Just glared
That’s just immaturity. She has no sense of self yet to hold her own in a decent conversation so she does the teenage petulant glare instead of feeling comfortable in her own skin. At 30, mom would be put in her place if she overstepped, at 18 you’re rude and dig your heels in.
I would believe that for the typical teenager but Mary is not one. She’s been making big girl choices and engaging in big girl behavior. She wants to be treated like an equal, an adult? Then she needs to act like one
You can see that Mary actually wants to isolate the shit out of Brandon and mentally break him down. I think we’ve all seen this kind of person before and it’s very obvious with her. She makes me sick.
I’ve been with someone like this before when I was a bit younger, I think they aren’t always aware that they’re being manipulative and focus on their feelings/trauma instead. I was naive back then but now it really is apparent to me how it’s such a major major red flag when they isolate you from family and friends. So I guess watching this makes me feel iffy
I know that this sub just loves to beat Mary up, but I see no reason in the world why she should show grace to Brandan’s mom - a woman who not only abandoned him for drugs, and is still recovering, but who also rolled up into town with her first comment being "I will never be nice to Mary, nor accept her.’
Mary AND Brandan are both messed up and need help. But in this matter, I do think Mary is in the wrong. She has been isolating him from his family, even from his sister who did nothing wrong. Also, if Brandan has decided to forgive and rebuild a relationship with her, I don’t see why it would hurt for Mary to try and have a cordial relationship with her? The mom’s comment was a result of Mary’s stink face she gave the moment they hugged
Mary is awful and regardless of whether or not Brandan’s mom is a former drug addict, that doesn’t change the serious red flags that the relationship between Mary and Brandan has. These two are dysfunctional AF and if a a former addict can see it, I find it hard to believe all of the “upstanding people” on this sub can’t see it. If Brandan was isolating Mary from her family and trying to drive a wedge between them, people would rightly express concern over how problematic that behavior is. Mary is an adult. An immature one but an adult. The same as Brandan. She doesn’t get a pass for sucking just like he doesn’t get a pass for being lazy.
Yes, exactly this!! People like to take sides, and because the mom is a drug addict and quite unlikable, suddenly Mary seems better and is just “protective” over Brandan. As if all her other toxic behaviors and patterns don’t exist. Both are just not right for each other, or for anyone right now for that matter.
I’ve said it before, but Brandon is a fool for taking orders from those village idiots. I can’t imagine myself having to obey Lolo or listen to anything he has to say.
Mary’s a bully and a brat. Remember she was jealous of Brandan’s sisters as well as his mother. Add any other female to that equation. He doesn’t seem very happy either. I’m actually wondering how long he’ll stick around. Before it’s all over with she may throw him out or tell him to come back to the states to get a job and send her money.
It’s just sad that they had to bring a child into the equation
Yes. It is sad. I also wonder if she’s going to use this child as a pawn.
I have a video to post to this sub but it won’t let me until I get 50 upvotes in the comments. Plz upvote this so I can post!
He needs to sit down and put it all out to Lolo about sending money for house and being broke. Only way to be real and get the truth.
Mary is a full blown narcissist and abusive. The word narcissist is oftentimes wrongly used but in this case it fits. mary doesn’t care about anyone besides herself. She manipulates, causes chaos and then cries to play victim for control - she’s not just malicious, she’s downright evil. she must have full control at all times. mary is jealous of the love Brandon has for anyone else regardless it’s just family. She’s sick. I hope Brandon leaves her.
Ooof- Nice breakdown! Such a mess. There is so much toxicity in this bunch it’s hard to pick any side. OP, i read your responses in other comments about why Mary is wrong and only thing I’ll add is that we don’t know what Brandan has told Mary about his mom. We also don’t know what Mary may have quietly witnessed on many of their constant video chats. Now- I have major questions about Mary’s judgement on pretty much everything BUUUT it is possible she knows more and is actually justified here. It’s really hard to tell. I just felt like once Mary became pregnant something switched in her. Maybe I’m reading too much into it. I think she is being protective of Brandan.
Yes, it’s true there might be much more behind the scenes. I guess, it’s also based on what we’ve seen in the past with her wanting all his time and attention to herself only (to the point he couldn’t hold down a normal job) so that stuck to me. So I definitely associate her behavior towards the mom with that in mind.
The mom is definitely not a saint and I can see why anyone would be distrusting towards her, given her history with Brandan. However, both she and Mary should at least act amicable for the sake of Brandan and the wedding
So true. She (Mary) wants Brandon to conform to her standards and wants his family out of his life.