Obviously both got their own issues, but I think it’s another incredibly toxic thing of Mary to expect Brandan to bend over backwards to please her family, and yet she puts absolute 0 effort into her relationship with his.

During the last ep, Brandan even mentioned again hoping to reconnect with his mom, so she should know that this is important to him. If she truly loves him she would at least try. But as soon as they came face to face, she already gave her the stink face and even called her mean/bitch on camera. It’s obvious that she didn’t intend to cave in and be the first to draw the white flag per se, but how hard was it to actually act like she was happy to see her? Or be a tad bit welcoming and cordial.

Another thing that bugged me was (pun intended lol), was when Brandan was fishing out insects in the room for his mom since she is afraid, and Mary was just laughing at her. Fine, she doesn’t like the mom, but Filipinos or even Asians in general are very big on hospitality and overall just making their guests comfortable. Seeing as her family is still traditional, you would think she would hold the same value but we see none of it.

What it reads to me: she doesn’t care about the things and people that are important to Brandan.

We see from the start that she isolates him, even from his own mother and sister. Regardless of the mom’s history, it’s Brandan’s decision if he wants contact with her. She also mentioned during the ep, that if Brandan won’t have her back (regarding the MIL) then she just won’t marry him. I usually would understand obviously wanting your future husband to be on your side all the time but she creates this thing where it’s either her or his mom. She can at least try for him. It’s incredibly isolating to be in a foreign country, with just your partner and her family and gossiping neighbours, and a language you don’t speak. Let the man have at least some type of support system, even from miles away

  • Love2Pug@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    11 months ago

    I understand what you say, really really.

    My disagreement is that Brandan’s mom is supposed to be the adult, and should act like it.

    I can only reference my own mother and step-mother, who while have been disappointed in the choice of partners by my sisters and brothers, have never ever failed to be anything but gracious and generous towards them. Never ever would my mother or step-mother say something like “I’m not going to bite my tongue if I see something I don’t like.” They absolutely would extend a hug their potential future daughter/son-in-law, and they would keep their private thoughts PRIVATE!!! And would have (and in fact have) continued to be a participant in their lives - because their lives spawned grandchildren.

    And anyway, his mom has fucked up sooo hard in his life, her only role at this point should be “I support you and your choices.”