Tell me what you think. Well wait… let me tell you what I think, first, lol. I think that if I had a grown daughter who went to another country and married a man, I would be saying all that I could to encourage my daughter to accept that new circumstances are very difficult at first. Of course I would say that I missed her, but for Holly’s mom to be just reiterating that she thinks South Africa is dangerous makes me worry that Holly is just going to bail. Thoughts?
Holly and her mom are really enmeshed.
I think Holly and her mom have a weird codependency thing happening. It could even be substance related. So yes I agree with your thought and I’m adding onto it.
Holly seems incredibly immature for her age, like she’s a teenager and needs her mother’s help 24/7
To be honest, I would not want my daughter to live in South Africa or any other dangerous country. It’s her life but I 100% wouldn’t be all like “yeah girl, go live in the rape capital of the world!!! Mom loves you! Byeeee”.
That’s exactly what I wax thinking. I got so aggravated that I started talking to the TV.
They’re all weirdos - her mom, her, the guy (forgot his name). Her mom is way too overbearing and has some weird codependency issues which probably hasn’t helped Holly’s own mental maturity. I don’t think Holly is necessarily going to bail though, just that her mom will probably just come back and live with them at some point so they can all just be weird together.
Yes, she will bail. Who could live that, alone all the time, no friends, no work and not being able to go anywhere or do anything because it’s dangerous?
Is she not aware that Wayne can’t get a US Visa because of his bad credit (I think that was the problem.)
I personally think it also has a lot to do with their upbringing as JWs (Jehovah’s Witnesses). I’m speaking from personal experience here, but this cult really does a number on your social skills since you are encouraged/forced to only form connections with people within the org. If you are lucky enough to break away, you essentially have to learn how to be a functioning member of normal society on your own and sometimes that doesn’t go well lol. This trio of characters was really strange since it sounded like they were half-assing JW rules (reason why her mom was there in the first place is because JWs believe you need to have a chaperone while “courting” so you won’t be tempted to have pre-marital sex) but everything else about them was so outside what is considered acceptable by the org, including her weird outfit choices…
I have friends who were born in SA (to clarify, I’m going to point out that they are from a white family because when you are talking about living in SA, especially about security & “feeling safe,” race does matter more to some.)
With that said, it is honestly no more “super scary dangerous!” there than it is in parts of LA or parts of Chicago or even Miami, NY or Philly. Yeah, sure, some parts are rough. I live near Chicago. I frequent it. I was born just outside of Manhattan & was raised there. I know the city well. You want to make it in these cities? The same rules apply in all of them as do in SA.
- You keep your head and wits about you. Don’t do stupid shit. Don’t go staring people down while you’re walking or talk to strangers randomly.
- Keep aware of your surroundings.
- Don’t dress like a hooker & don’t dress like you’ve got cash dripping from you. Be smart about what you wear when you’re out.
- Don’t act like someone is going to come up and rob you and they likely won’t. People acting like victims are more likely to be victimized.
You want friends to do things with and people to go places with? You’re going to have to make friends. Get involved in the community. Volunteer somewhere. Hell, you’re a beautician - put your skills to use and volunteer for seniors or shut-ins or orphanage. Take some initiative to try to make this work.
Have you met your neighbors? Get your husband to introduce you to them.
Learn a hobby.
The more Holly sits and whines like a toddler about how “super scary” it is and then has her mom reinforce it over and over and over - the more she’s just getting it deeper and deeper into her mind that she’s locked in a jail and can’t do anything without Wayne. It’s a jail entirely of her own making. I have zero sympathy for her. She holds the keys to her cell and could easily open the door and walk out.
She sure as hell wasn’t too awful scared of the big and scary South Africa when she walked barefoot! to get away from him when they went to look at the real estate places she wanted to upgrade to before the wedding!
It’s only super scary when she wants to whine about it.
Their underlying story line is BDSM, which is not showcased by TLC. Earlier she talked about how Wayne was into bondage and some thing of a more alternative relationship which eluded to BDSM and in my mind, so what and big deal and who cares.
But when I saw Holly’s mother, all I could think was holy crap. Did she not age? Well, since she left South Africa? They both look rough. Holly looked like she hadn’t washed her hair in weeks.
One of my twins (31F) moved out of the US right after UNI. She has been gone for like a decade. She has lived/worked in So Korea, Africa, and now moved to Rome a few weeks ago. I miss her like crazy but I do nothing but positive vibes when we talk. Its not my life. Parents need to mind their own business more. Also, her twin sister is halfway thru a 1 yr backpacking honeymoon trip around the world. She is going to some sketch ass places. As her mom I have to hope I didn’t raise a dumb ass and support them in their endeavors.
that’s a cool attitude to have.
Who cares …they are all weird AF, though I like him
They are the most haggard looking mother daughter duo I have ever seen!