Hi, a few days behind but I’m a licensed professional counselor and think this is very common. OP’s response below is also very good. In addition to being a therapist, I’m also married to a man with Bipolar Disorder, and in our early years when he would have episodes, I quickly noticed he took everything out on me but would tone it down for others. I asked his mom about it and she said “he does that to whoever is closest to him. It used to be me, but now it’s you.” My personal theory is that it’s easier to do this to those you know will stick by you. You know friendships and casual relationships are not unconditional. They can walk away easily if you go overboard. But things like marriage and family, which feel more permanent, mean you can take off the mask without fear of being kicked to the curb. Obviously, this gets abused sometimes, resulting in being cut off from family or in divorce, but I think that’s the initial reasoning. “This person has promised to always love me, I don’t have to pretend with them, I can just be real.”

All that being said, I’m not sure that’s the reason with Jovi, as he and Yara have both openly thrown around the idea of divorce multiple times. OP’s explanation for Jovi is pretty good. I also think the drama may be hyped up because no matter all the problems we see through the shows, their relationship has seemed to stay solid. I hope that’s the case. I have a problem with Jovi’s addiction to strippers and strip clubs, but I want both him and Yara to be happy. I also understand his reasoning for not taking the closer job for the most part, even if he 100% should have discussed it with Yara before making the decision.

I’m actually a therapist intern 😂that’s why I love this show, the mess is fun but you can also see really interesting relational dynamics. The couples therapy that has been portrayed before seems pretty good to me, considering that it’s edited for tv. The therapists are very professional and seem earnest about wanting to help these couples.

As far as Jovi and Yara, I think Jovi has displayed a lot of anxious avoidance. He just ignores or walks away from conversations that make him uncomfortable. That fixed smile and glazed eye that he gets sometimes, particularly when conflict topics come up, suggests anxiety to me. Luckily Yara is very strong about confronting him and asking for her needs. You make a good point about him being more emotionally mature with others (at least on the surface) than he is with Yara

Hi, I’m BPD and I can be a great friend but a lousy girlfriend/daughter/sister for many reasons if this is what you’re referring to. To us, loved ones are like a flame, warming from a distance – but get too close, there’s risk of getting hurt (cue all of the unhealthy survival mechanisms we’ve developed in response to a perceived threat to our feelings.) I literally can’t act normal no matter how hard I try, trust me sometimes I really wish because it’s embarrassing. At best I’m sad and sobbing on a primal wound level, at worst I have a burning desire to extact revenge

Can be seen with personality disorders. This occurs with BPD. More can be said, but that’s my addition to the matter.

Anti social personality disorder This is how they treat ppl close to them.

Yeah :/