I’ve been trying to introduce my SO to reading. I love books and I wish I could share in that experience with her. Unfortunately she doesn’t read and hates having to do it. She is vehement in that books are boring because there’s nothing to watch and that using her imagination is too much work. Her reading comprehension or vocabulary is not the issue - she’s intelligent and a fast learner but denies these things. This hasn’t been a serious contention between us and at the end of the day I can enjoy books on my own. But I was wondering if anyone has been successful in changing someone’s perspective on books, or if I’m probably not going to achieve anything.

  • CHRISKVAS@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    You’re more likely to create a negative relationship with reading by trying to get her into books when she clearly shows no interest. Best you can do is passively expose her to content from the reading community and see if anything sparks her interest.

  • Hey_Its_Roomie@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    Not everybody has to enjoy the same thing; though she does seem stubborn to try considering that her argument that imagination is hard work seems silly. But it’s possible she doesn’t draw mental pictures well in her head and consequently that is where she is coming from. There is possibly a level of doubt she has for herself because she doesn’t “get” the visuals books describe.

    One thing you could try is to incorporate reading as a “together” activity where you two may take turns reading a book aloud to each other. By making it something you and her can do together then perhaps you can engage her both in books and your relationship that way.

    Tangent to books, broaching this subject can sometimes come across as a personal attack on people since they is an attitude being a bookworm can possess for some people. Sometimes trying to encourage reading can appear as though you are subjecting your “superior” hobby to someone because they are “dumb”. Just be mindful how you engage her in the discussion.

  • Rusalka-rusalka@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    I don’t think you will be able to actively change this for her. She’ll need to come to this on her own. It may take a while, but an interest in reading is a pretty core part of a person. I think you risk being more of a hinderance than a help if you push too hard.

  • badheartveil@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    Not sure but she sounds like she has a short attention span if she needs constant stimulation. Is she online quite a bit?

  • minimalist_coach@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    No and I would never try. I think the only time it could be successful is if a person used to enjoy reading and just doesn’t feel like they have the time as an adult.

    Reading is like any other activity some people like it and others don’t and never will. I’m sure you’ve had friends in the past who were passionate about an activity you had no interest in, maybe it was sports, hunting, Dungeons and Dragons, or any other activity that they loved spending time doing and sharing with others, but it just didn’t interest you. If they had kept trying to push you into sharing the activity, chances are it eventually got in the way of your friendship.

    I’m an avid reader, my husband isn’t and we’ve been married over 30 years. The only time I’ve seen him read books is when he needs to learn a new programming language, he buys a couple books on the topic and skims them, pulls the info he needs from it, keeps the books around until he masters the program then dumps them.

    We have learned that we have couple things and individual things and although we will occasionally participate in the others individual activities, we know that we will make the other grumpy if we try to get the other to participate in things they don’t enjoy. We share the highlights of our individual activities and that’s as far as we take it.

  • earthisheaven@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    My partner isn’t a reader but like once a month we carve out time to read together because he knows how much i enjoy the quiet, low key quality time. It’s part of the give and take of our relationship. I join him in his hobbies sometimes even though they’re not my thing, and he reads with me sometimes. Maybe if you presented it like that? As an opportunity to spend time together doing something you enjoy. And then help recommend a book about a subject matter you know she enjoys. If she cant get into imagining the fantasy world of fictional books, maybe she could get into a nonfiction book about a topic that interests her.

  • AGH2023@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    I agree with most others. I’ve never tried to convince anyone else to read (other than nudging my kids when they were younger). I think it can probably only lead to resentment. My husband and I have very different tastes in book. And that’s totally okay with me. I find that one of the best parts of reading is that it’s a solitary activity that lets you tune out everything and everyone.