Even though I think she could try harder to integrate, it’s clear they just want her gone at this point which doesn’t make it any easier. She never even mentions going back, but they constantly jump to that whenever there’s a problem rather than trying to find a solution. They seemed to really embrace her with the wedding and all but either it was for all for show or she’s really worn her welcome. TJ looks so fed up but that’s what he gets for deceiving her honestly.
As someone who moved to a country where I did not speak the language AT ALL, I have some empathy for Kim and it’s at the 3 month point of really being IN it that the depression hits hard. I have been there.
That being said, you HAVE to save yourself. You have to take baby steps to get your shit together and live. Or you quit the experiment. That’s it. She is with a family that doesn’t understand her and a husband who has tapped out on empathy and is now caught in the middle between his family and his wife.
I think Kim’s reality depression has paralyzed her and yes, she could go out of the apartment and she could hang with the family, but sometimes when depression over being isolated and alone hits, those things people suggest are easy to see from the outside but almost impossible to accomplish when you’re locked into your own darkness.
She also doesn’t seem to possess the best coping skills or the utmost in maturity, and that girl has a set of lungs on her. She wasn’t equipped for this kind of life. She’s working from a sunk cost fallacy. She needs to pack her linens and go home. She has passed the point of no return and no burning cow shit is gonna bring her back to center again.
This Is the thought I come back to every time someone suggests that TJ could do XY or z. Like yeah, I think he could do a lot more and better.
But I also think that at some point he would run out of the ability and she still would be in the same place because of this statement.
I have no sympathy for her… she went to a country and still doesn’t know the language 3 months later? She’s a bum.
It takes way more than three months to learn a language.
I agree completely. No empathy for her whatsoever. She deserves what she gets.
Some people have a harder time learning a new language than others.
Very well said. I really have empathy for her in this situation but at this point it is beyond her ability to cope and adapt. She needs to go home.
This is the most reasonable comment about her I’ve seen. I’m proud of your growth this season ;)
Thank you, my friend! I appreciate that you see me as reasonable and acknowledge my growth!
Agree, when I first moved country I had the world’s worst culture shock and felt extremely isolated. That’s such a hard position to be in. I recently had post partum anxiety and it felt similar in ways, I had flashbacks to my 20ies feeling lonely and isolated. But agree, the onus is also on her. She knew what she was getting into. I think it’s best for her to go back home if she can’t make a life there.
But she lived there for A YEAR before this. She must have had some kind of life, even if it was with expats. Personally, considering she was so reactive over " crazy", I don’t think she gets along with anyone easily and that’s her biggest issue. Eating a meal with people and just smiling isn’t hard to do.
I think she was a student then, so she would’ve at least had classmates, classes, etc., to do outside of her home. But, she can’t really explore when she can’t read or speak the language well enough to not get lost or make friends.
But she wasn’t their daughter-in-law; she was a single woman with rights. Now she is property. https://www.herzindagi.com/society-culture/husband-family-rules-for-daughter-in-law-proves-we-failed-as-a-society-article-217261
So she lived there for a year and was totally clueless about the culture and customs? I don’t buy it.
I lived in Thailand for a year and some of us learned Thai and made local friends (including myself, fortunately, and special shout out to my incredible host dad who gave me Thai lessons for six straight months) BUT out of the group of young expats I was with from across the globe, I was one of the few. A good half of the 40 or so of us left the country with no ability to speak Thai or understanding of the culture.
The biggest difference was where we lived—the kids out in the boonies like me got really integrated since we were the only white people in town most of the time. The kids in Bangkok, however, were constantly surrounded by English-speaking tourists and Thais so it was never really an issue.