They said early on in this season that she lived in India for a year before deciding to move there permanently to be with TJ. Did people not see where she said that the things she chose for the apartment construction were not what she picked out before she left? Why is everyone saying she should have researched the culture? I’m pretty sure living there for a year can equal to doing some research on the internet.
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Because people don’t understand that relationships with cultural differences are more difficult than just doing your research will fix. You will always be working through cultural differences throughout your whole relationship. That’s how it is and no amount of research will fix it.
Very true. You can be in an established intercultural relationship for many years, and you’ll still get ugly shocks. Things don’t come up until they have to, and you find out each side has drastically different expectations and beliefs, and each side fully believes their way is normal and assumed that the other side knew.
She may have lived there before but she’s still getting plenty of surprises.
While I entirely agree with everyone who’s saying she couldn’t have known about the insane shit like cow poop, I do think she could have done more to be an active participant in educating herself on the culture. Living somewhere for a year doesn’t teach you all the stuff you should know to live there forever. It doesn’t look like she knew the first things about weddings which is something she could have asked about and looked up or talked to locals while she was there. She doesn’t know a lick of the language. That fact alone makes me wonder how much of that year was spent inside or only with TJ and his family instead of exploring India as a whole to decide if it’s somewhere she’d like to live.
I honestly don’t think she’s too bright just in general and that played right into TJ not telling her about his family’s extreme practices and beliefs to create the perfect storm.
She has asked for this…marrying someone and not knowing everything. She made her bed, literally, now lay in it with Bro, Mom, Dad and TJ.
But the dad isn’t allowed in mom’s bed, remember? She makes him sly on the living room floor so she can sleep in the same bed with her grown sons.
Ugh…whatever their arrangement…what person in their rt mind would marry in 90 days in a totally diff country. Doing it in US is hard in 90 days!! Lol
They’d been in a romantic relationship for 2 years before the wedding.
No
The comments I saw that said that were all regarding the wedding rituals.
Rituals that Tj, who grew up in the culture, didn’t really know.
A wedding she paid $10,000 towards, too.
Is your point that since she paid so much she would not have incentive to do some research?
If she googled anything or even just watched Jenny and Sumit she would’ve known what to expect. She also can’t even communicate even pleasantries in their local language after a whole year there. That’s just as shocking to me that she also made zero friends there that she could ask about culture and explain things.
It’s possible she didn’t do her research and it shows
What better research than living there for a YEAR?
She had her own apartment & lived like a single girl studying in India. She OBVIOUSLY didn’t do any research from her goofy expectations. So NO, we can’t stop saying this because she did not even bother asking TJ what she would be expected to do. Did she not know about the sacredness of cows? Did she never ask about the dung stink in the house? She is a jerk with little respect & understanding of an ancient culture she could have explored a LOT more. Nope!
TJ withheld a lot of stuff when she asked about her duties though
I agree with you, the people saying she should have done her research are guilty of not doing their OWN research into seeing how badly her husband and his family lied to and manipulated her in order to get her to marry him!
Because apparently people think they can “research” in-depth cultural knowledge from reading a few blurbs from Wikipedia. And also from what they learned, they’re going to nope out of a relationship with someone who they’ve already pinned all their hopes and dreams on.
I think we have to remember that production drives the bus, and they probably plot ways for the families to come up with obscure traditions, foods, events that aren’t necessarily something they do but are gross enough to upset someone. I cannot imagine allowing anyone to bring manure and urine into my home as a blessing. It’s unsanitary and disgusting and I would have stopped them both any asked them to leave. I also couldn’t understand why the brother was always in the middle of decisions and why the husband didn’t tell his brother to stay out of their business.
No idea why you chuck in the construction issues there. Nobody says she should know that she should have googled their work/construction practices.
Finding out what your responsibilities are going to be in the household, what the rituals conducted on your wedding are (even more when you are so “spiritual”), learning their dietary customs, … she seems to know nothing. She complains about it, though.
Moving across the globe without spending as much as a weekend in google… apparently not even watching videos of weddings like yours that are foreign to you… it all reads very lazy princess-like.
Bringing up the construction issues is to show that she was familiar with their house and how the household was run on a daily bases.
I don’t understand your point.
Afaik, she told TJ how she wanted her apartment to be. Understandably, TJ took care of it. Then she arrived and saw it for the first time.
How does maybe choosing colors, mouldings and such in a catalog familiarise you with how a household is run, what they expect from you, what the life of a typical woman in their community is, … ?
Living there for a year should have helped her get familiarised with many things that seemed to be a problem: clothes, craftmanship, diets, how many people actually speak English, … apparently she lived like a tourist, I imagine?
I saw someone defending the use of poopy rag and urine, saying she didn’t do HeR rEaSeArCh and doesn’t respect Indian culture. Implying Indian culture is… known for their contaminated washrags and spray bottle of urine? Proving wildly ignorant of Indian culture in the pursuit of insulting Kimberly. Any valid point she makes is twisted to fit this decided “ignorant American” and “stupid tarot card woman” narrative.
People get blinded by their hate of (usually) women on this show. They lose all nuance or critical thought. I dislike some of the cast, but I can admit where they show strengths, and when they’re right about something. There’s a pervasive pick-me/self-loathing/misogynist energy about. This weird hivemind joy over tearing down everything a person does.
I see this a ton with Mary, too. Brandon is a sensitive, innocent cinnamon roll, and Mary manipulated him into making a baby. And she should deal with the stress and financial burden because he “bought the house.” I’m SO tired of hearing that lol. There’s a baseline effort both people have to put forward. Push and pull, but don’t make your pregnant wife do the heavy lifting because you’re having second thoughts. I can’t accept that. Can’t work? Study the damn language, my guy. Do housework. Be there. Put any effort in. It’s not acceptable to give nothing, even if you’re struggling. He has a family now that depends on him, and he has to step up.
Mary has major issues, but viewers decided she is a one-dimensional villain who deserves only the worst. People complained when they (she) rushed into motherhood, then simultaneously complained when she hesitated rushing into marriage. Do they want her to triple down on bad choices for the sake of consistency? I’ve seen multiple people blame her solely for the baby as if Brandon didn’t contribute or know better. I can’t take that level of stupid.
I wrote a novel, but I have a lot of feelings on the topic. Lol
Im lmao that you called Brandon an innocent, cinnamon roll. I must borrow that phrase!
Well I will say it again - she should have known what would happen at her wedding rather that whine no one was telling her. She lived there but didn’t embrace the culture (obviously) so she should have at least googled “what to do when I marry into the Indian culture “. She’s just a whiny fool
What I think it means is that she didn’t really try to understand the expectations on her to be TJs wife. She moved to india to be with TJ for one year and didn’t glean enough information into how traditional his family were and what was expected. However in her weak defence, TJ said he was purposely avoiding that topic to the point of almost being deceitful. They’re both awful people. TJ should have known his parents were too traditional for his American wife and she should have known TJ has zero backbone.
“Almost being deceitful”
That boy flat out lied time and time again. Then he gaslit the shit out of her.
To be honest, the problem is in Indian culture there is a very strong belief that shit will magically right itself after marriage. I’m not even sure what Kim thought would happen moving to india where she had made no friends and learned no language despite being there for a whole year.
Pffft. I’ve lived in other countries and meet other foreigners ALL THE TIME who live there for decades stay in their little capsule, know like two words of the native language, and only hang out with other ex-patriots.
No. Living there for a year does not mean you did anything to learn about the culture.
But if she isn’t making friends or picking up the language and living in her own place, it’s like being in a bubble.
I mean, she does have that experience more than me, but unless she interacts and builds community there, she’s not really experiencing it.
My son is saving to move to India now, and they are very community centered. My son is making friends online now, and he is even learning about the temples he wants to go to.
There are more Americanized apartments and areas for tourists that she might have stayed in. I know my son is hoping to stay near other Americans but also trying to integrate into the local society
That sounds exciting for your son. I hope he can have amazing memories of such an adventure for the rest of his life
This excites me for your son.
Let’s not judge Kimberly based on what your son is doing now in preparation. Kimberly also prepped. She lived there for crying out loud! She’s living in a toxic family dynamic. I’m Indian and I cringe!
I live in Brampton and most of the ladies in my condo building are embarrassed