I’ve seen a lot of conversations about Kimberly and everything that she and TJ are going through/have gone through. But what I’m not understanding is, what was Kimberly’s end goal?
She has been to India before, seen the culture, and she knew she was going to be living in the same house as TJ’s family.
Yes, TJ should’ve been more communicative and clear about what her role was going to be, then let her decide on the fate of their relationship.
I understand that she wants to have her voice heard, but I’m not exactly sure what the end goal was? then let her decide on the fate of their relationship.
Was she expecting to magically just get along with his family?
Was she expecting to not do anything around the house and just be provided for?
Was she expecting TJ just to randomly say that they can move out and not be living with his family anymore?
Or were there other expectations that maybe we just didn’t see on camera?
Either way, I’m just not sure what her expectations and goals were when she decided to move to India with TJ’s family.
She was fine with doing housework for her and TJ just not for his whole family. I’m sorry, but I’d stay locked upstairs too if my brother in law who called me stupid and his mother were always downstairs, especially if they were lighting cow shit on fire in the house and spraying cow piss everywhere.
He completely withheld what was expected of her.
There’s bat shit in your eye liner & mascara
Looks like that’s a false claim
Mascara contains the crystalline form of guanine, a word that derives from the Spanish word guano, meaning “dung.” Guanine is used extensively in the cosmetics industry, where it functions as a colorant and as an opacifying (shimmering or light diffusing) agent. It’s found in bath products, cleansing products, fragrances, hair conditioners, lipsticks, nail products, shampoos and skin care products. The crystalline guanine used in beauty products doesn’t derive from excrement, though, either from bats or from any other critter. Yet there is a bit of a “yuck!” factor to that ingredient, as guanine is manufactured from fish scales, which means you’re likely finding a little bit of Nemo in your cosmetics drawer.
Even if it was, it’s a cosmetic grade ingredient that’s tested and is not the same as lighting cow shit on fire in your house.
That’s fine. Doesn’t mean we’re okay with our house smelling like cow manure and the cow manure being on our kitchen table!
The day they brought cow shit into the kitchen would have been the day I moved out…
I feel like honestly TJ is the problem. Sure she knew what she was getting into by moving to a India, but I highly doubt she expected to get married to a man who bad mouths her to his family whenever they fight, lies about his expectations when she’s asked, and has to deal with a family that will never be happy with anything she does even down to her clothing choices.
I love india and the people but from my experience being ftiends with some, he’s pretty typical in terms of the gossiping and being a brick wall emotionally. Plus they treat each other so pathetically due to the social structure, to me it was like Kim had a huge wake up call and smelled the chai
Totally. I don’t have a problem with India’s cultures. I find it to be very beautiful. But knowing that I am an American and grew up as an American and have certain views and expectations. Just like them. There will be things that I can’t waiver on because it’s an inherent part of who I am. Personally I would’ve never done this. if there was more room to understanding each other’s culture, maybe it could’ve worked. But I think that’s the folly of man. It’s one of the biggest problems in the world is not being able to understand others background and to just shake hands and say “you’re this way and I’m this way and let it be just that.” Sadly is human nature to want to impose your own perspective and views onto others, and that goes both ways in this circumstance.
marriage without the messy relatives hanging around.
Kim is dumb af and had she actually ever had to provide for herself, she would have saw through TJs bullshit immediately.
I’m surprised, and maybe shouldnt be surprised because this is reddit, that people here dont expect a grown adult to contribute to the household. I agree, if she doesnt work, how does she expect to contribute to the household?
For those of you saying she shouldnt have to help her mother-in-law cook and clean, why even agree to live there? I guarantee you TJ cut corners to build an apartment above his family’s home because its cheaper than moving out. She may not live with family, but she is still benefitting from living with them.
What was she doing for the year she was there? She says she has been sitting upstairs for two months. Can she find nothing to do?
She could have at least used those months to learn the language and through that break her social isolation. I know we are only getting a small piece of the big picture but from what we get to see she is making minimal to no efforts to adjust and assimilate.
TJ is the major issue over here . He never fully communicated and if you understand the language or read the subtitles properly you can already see he never gives the full answer or discloses everything .
I honestly don’t know why 90day does this but it was the case with Jen & Rishi too . A lot of Indian guys who are awful in communication or just plain awful . Rishi never disclosed all the info regarding what he wanted or what was expected .
People keep blaming Kimberly for not doing enough research . However She can only do so much as to what she is told to research . Based on TJ’s behavior I am sure he never disclosed that she is expected to cook clean and do a lot of house hold chores and live in a multi family house .
I imagine Kimberly expected a living situation with just TJ not his entire family .
Regardless I believe they broke up and she moved on to USA and she can’t disclose all that due to NDA . Good for her
But in the latest episode the mom said she has only come downstairs 2 or 3 times. So even though he did lie, she hasn’t done any of those chores people keep talking about. She cooks and cleans for her and TJ, she ain’t no one’s servant
Yeah exactly! People keep bringing this up about him not disclosing the full expectations but it looks like she’s doing what she wants anyway. He’s working and she’s at home. She’s certainly not cleaning and cooking for the whole family and their only complaint shown about her was them feeling like she stays away from them and that they aren’t welcome to come upstairs. There was no complaining about her not cooking/cleaning
I’m so glad she’s out. I can’t imagine the tension and never leaving the upstairs. I dated a guy when I was 22 and we were staying with his parents out of state for a long weekend. I overheard the mother crying in the kitchen, wanting to know what’s wrong with her. By her, she meant me. I am agnostic. NOT CATHOLIC 😂 They were super Duper Catholic and she had the house full of big gold pictures of the pope and religious statues everywhere. When I walked in, I got nervous I looked around and I giggled. My relationship ended shortly after. That whole weekend his mother made me feel so uncomfortable.
I think there was a lot of hope on her part and probably some level of assumption that it would work out- I also think that TJ didn’t think ahead and just assumed she’d go along with it.
I am not 100% sure still on why she seemed so detached from living after being married versus when she was there for a year; I’ve read some articles and linked one in live thread about how conservative families and in the more rural parts of India after marriage you’re expected to stay home more and not really socialize- it could be since they’re more conservative that the expectation was she would be home a lot??? Not sure- either way it was really sad they spent so much time and resources to be culturally amiss.
I’m also wondering what the year she stayed there before marrying him was like. I doubt she lived with them.
I assume she was in an expat community or apartment share situation.
Why does everyone act as though this isn’t a union of two people who are supposed to work together to support one another? TJ and his family have made very little effort to support Kimberly but expect her to become a good little Hindi girl the day after marriage. He never defends her to them, and he puts in no effort to reach compromise and bridge the divide between her and his family but somehow SHE is the only problem here?
The in-equal expectations for men and women sure is something.
They both have their own faults but TJ should have 100% told her every expectation before getting married. He withheld this info bc he knew it was going to be a problem. Kimberly is no angel but TJ knew exactly what he was doing. Sure she could have researched and even gotten to learn how life is in India while she was there but there is a difference between being single and married woman in India. Big big difference and set of expectations
I think TJ is full of BS and thought Kim would just go along with it. However, I also feel like Kim expected everyone to just bend to her and his family showed her early that wasn’t going to happen. I also really wish she would just have taken some Hindi classes online, or maybe joined an American expat group ? TJ is an absolute selfish dick who refuses to try and that whole Mummy she has made my life hell bit really solidified that. but Kimberly also seems to be not trying.
It just looked like young kids playing at being grown-ups. Like all of the women who go to India she wanted to be American and live American in India. TJ really should’ve told her what the marriage expectations were but he clearly knew she wouldn’t marry him if he said it so he didn’t. He was extremely selfish and is reaping what he sowed.
You guys are expecting way too much from people that met “in a dream.”
She said that whenever she goes down stairs she greeted with hostile looks but every time TJ gets home she’s giving him looks and even at the wedding was giving people ugly looks while getting henna. It’s a language barrier and it’s just as much their fault as it is her fault that they don’t have a common language. It’s hard to talk when you don’t speak the language so I’m sure it feels awkward to go down stairs but yash knows the language if she’s desperate to go out she could go with him. They made amends but now they’re un doing it. All the time she spends at home she could be working on learning Hindi or teaching the mom English. Kimberly puts no effort in. And TJ is just enjoying his cycle of work come home repeat and he doesn’t want any disturbances to that
TJ is such a liar that he doesn’t know he is lying. This is a common thing among Indians.
What a strange post OP. I imagine her goal was to have a successful marriage with a man who didn’t lie to her and a family who didn’t light cow shit on fire in her kitchen. Not to mention using the kitchen towel to “clean” cow shit and then “clean” pots.
She probably assumed he would sleep in her bed once married and not with his mother.
Good lord the amount of red flags on tj is crazy