I’d love to hear y’alls opinion on “sending money home”.
Manuel had expectations of sending $250-$300 home per month while living in the US, which is a little wild when he can’t even work yet and seemingly hasn’t discussed it with Ashley at all.
On the other hand, he has multiple kids to support, something they don’t seem to show them talking about at all. And $300 in the US is significantly easier to come by than $300 in Ecuador, where the “average living wage” is around $500USD/month.
It tends to come up every season or so, obviously there’s some outrageous people looking to take advantage of others, but on the other hand a couple hundred bucks goes a lot further in some countries than others, and is typically a lot easier to make in some countries than others.
I’m reminded of David and Annie when they met with the builder after TLC killed her mom - the builder clearly saw David as easy pickings and gave them a wildly inflated quote, but also that’s around 5-10% of what that quote would have been in any American city.
What are your opinions on this? I think some people are out there to take advantage of others, but on the other hand if I could pay for my entire spouses family to live reasonably well for a small slice of my monthly take home pay it seems like a no-brainer to do it?
Love how this sub loves to pretend 300 bucks a month isnt alot of cash lmfao
Like they blow their nose with $300
Everyone on this sub is independently wealthy, hadn’t you heard? /s
I’d do it if I was with him… $300/mo is not a lot on the grand scheme of things to help out family. Also worth noting, I have the means to do so. If I was living paycheck to paycheck - it might be a different story.
You are correct because you have the means to do so. But even with your means, I’m sure you would have a cutoff point as well before it impacts you personally. In the grand scheme of things, if 300.00 is one of his paychecks, no big deal. But if that’s all he earns monthly, or ups his money home to 1200.00 a month for ALL his paychecks, that still leaves her paying for two people forever.
Yeah especially since she seems like she drank 300 worth of coffee just in one car ride.
It really depends. Was this something they discussed beforehand? Since his family believes he’s working in the US, I imagine they’re expecting some financial contribution from him. Other than brujería, what does Ashley do for work? Does she have an additional $300 per month to contribute? I don’t think she should give up her dog expenses or coffee expenses. (She should cut back on coffee for other reasons, however). The assumption that he’ll someday be able to pay her back brings me pause. Let’s say he can’t find work for a year. How exactly does he intend to pay her $3600? What skills does he have to find a job? He also does not appear to speak much English. Also, everything in his life is privado. I’m sure this will apply to his pay check as well
He’s saying to pay her back because it’s becoming a his money/her money type of situation. He doesn’t want to be seen as using her money because culturally speaking he should be the provider. He’s saying as soon as he can work he will pay her back because he’s not expecting her to provide for him or his responsibilities. He’s saying right now he can’t work, they both knew this before coming to the US. They should’ve talked about it.
During the time when the foreign spouse can not work the supporting spouse is now supporting an additional person and this can be taxing. So to come in without any discussion and expect that the supporting spouse not only financially supports the spouse and a family in another country isn’t appropriate to me.
To me the issue is that he did not bring this up in advance. This should be something discussed and budgeted for together and if it is not financially viable then they each have a choice to make.
It’s the lack of discussion that makes Manuel skeezy - if this were agreed upon in advance it would be fine. But his attitude of “my private life is private and I’m not sharing anything with you” is wildly incompatible with his entitlement to her money for his “private life”.
I do not, for a single second, believe that they didn’t talk about this in advance.
I do. There’s a billion irresponsible people out there who lack communication skills and common sense.
And billions more who only hear what they want to hear.
In the last episode, she clearly says that she knew he’d want to send money back for his kids, she just hadn’t known how much. So they did talk about it before.
she is a GD fool for sending her hard earned $.
You guys didn’t know?? Apparently Ashley is a BANK.
I think of course! If his kids are in another country, it is the very least he and she can do. They aren’t grown, they are teenagers. When you sign up to marry a person with children (who is NOT trying to support them) that should be more of a redder flag than asking for money to send them. It means he is responsible. She brought him to another country where he can’t work. Why didn’t she think she should pitch in to support his kids for that amount of time he cannot work. BTW why is that even a rule??? Seems stupid for the embassy to require they don’t work. Do any of you know the reasoning behind the rule?
I think Manuel should have prepared better and not expected his fiancé to pay his family $300 a month, which is a lot to most people.
I wouldn’t give him a dime in this situation. Dude is shady as hell and won’t even introduce his fiance to his family back home. I also wouldn’t marry him or even talk to him in the first place so there is that.
You’re telling me that they’ve been together for years, she’s visited his country multiple times, and she’s met no one in his world?
If that were true, then she’s a numbnut for ever progressing a relationship with him.
But there’s no way it’s true.
It was wrong of Manuel to just spring that on her and without ever asking. He won’t even introduce her to these kids he expects her to support. Most people cannot easily afford an additional $300 bill every month. Why didn’t Manuel plan for it?
The same reason Ashley didn’t plan for it knowing full well she signed paperwork to bring him here.
If she didn’t want to do it then find an American man. She knew he wouldn’t be able to work for a period of time when came here. If they are going to get married for real this is something you do for your partner. I mean what if she had kids and went to stay with him and said we need to send money to my kids and he said no! Everyone would be pissed. That is not a lot of money. Look at it like it’s an investment toward their future. She does this now and down the road when he is working she can go back to school, or be a stay at home mom. It’s a relationship you take care of your partner when you love them. Everyone is acting like he is saying he needs money for drugs. It’s for his kids/family.
I agree completely, being in a partnership involves give and take throughout different periods of your life. Being the sole breadwinner when it makes sense, or taking on more of the household duties so your spouse can pursue an opportunity is one of the reasons it’s worth getting married! I know tons of people who supported their spouses through grad school or career changes, not to even start on what’s required when you start to think about raising a family together.
That’s all fine and well but discuss it with your partner first!
Him coming here and waiting to be able to work is already an added expense on Ashley’s plate. Now add on $300 every month being sent to his family is even more expenses that she wasn’t able to accurately budget for. I don’t think anyone is against a man supporting his kids and famil, the problem lies in the lack of communication. On both sides of the relationship.
Mi vida es privada! I think he’s sanky panky.
Karen, is that you???
That’s on Manuel, imo. He didn’t even tell his mom he was moving to US, so I’d be surprised if he told Ashley how much $$$ she would be on the hook for to support his family.
Hopefully this is all for show, otherwise that’s pretty unfair to his family and Ashley.
Sending money " home" is fine as long as your own life isn’t adversely impacted. Yes, the money goes far elsewhere. The problem is when people from poorer countries see American lifestyles, they equate it with being “rich” so you can afford anything. We here people like Gino say " America is expensive " but there is no actual discussion of dollars vs cost, so saying " I make x a week" sounds great to someone making way, way less. Unfortunately, they don’t explain that you need 3 of your x amounts to pay rent. My grandma came from Poland around 1920. When her kids grew up, they sent clothes and money to the old country. Then, the Polish relatives became like Lydia. They wanted TVs, lol. That was the end of helping them. My nephew is from Ukraine. When he started working at 17, he sent a little money back. As he got older, he paid for his niece and nephew to learn English to have better futures rather than just sending some money. Sending money to your mama is one thing. But you can’t be a full partner here and send your check for the whole family back home without it affecting at least some of your relationship.
Nobody equates it to being rich. Many people from Latin America know what it is to come to this country and many will live in less than preferred conditions in other to send $ back home. Lots of immigrants families live doubled up to save money and be able to send more back home. This isn’t 1920’s immigrants or European immigrants. Different cultures, views and understanding of what it is like coming to this country.
I said the LIFESTYLE is rich. If you compare it to living other places where you’re dragging your water or the living room us filled w plastic chairs, the basics we have here seem like a big improvement. And immigrants coming here have always lived in less desirable locations, have always had a lot of people living together. It doesn’t matter if it’s 1920 or 2023. You come here with nothing, keep expenses down, and try to move ahead. That had never changed. The difference with 90 day is that you are marrying a second, third, fifth generation American who may understand why you send money home but isn’t willing to pay for all your needs while you work to pay for a family back home.
What lifestyle? Not a single immigrant (at least from Latin America) feels living here is a rich lifestyle, not even comparing it to back home. Also plenty of immigrants lived better lives in their home country than they do here. You don’t have insight in immigrants now or from Latin America.
And you have tunnel vision lol
Nobody? Do you remember Asuelu?
In the example of Gino, don’t forget that he was paying $3K usd/month for Jasmine’s apartment. That’s comparable rent in many US locations. Same with Danielle and Yohan’s place in DR where they were paying ~$2600/month for housing.
Sure but Gino was working and also not remodeling / upscaling his house. If Jasmine wanted her expensive hair extensions, plus replacing everything in their house, and continuing her lifestyle, he wouldn’t have the 3000 for her rent. Danielle was living off her savings, which is why she wanted him to work. She’s screwed in general I think.
$300 is barely anything, though. I’d absolutely expect to send money back home if I married someone from another country.