I definitely don’t think these two will have a healthy relationship and I think they need to separate ASAP. But I also feel like shekinah was being a little unfair to the baby conversation. Tell him that her ex made her raise a kid alone and that she doesn’t wanna do it again- but not giving him the opportunity to prove different. Her ex husband didn’t work out in marriage so she could say the same things about marriage but she’s not. If she doesn’t wanna have a baby that’s 100% her choice and her line to draw but I feel like using her past as an excuse is unfair to sarper. He can’t change what happened and he can’t show her the future. Deny him a baby because you don’t want your body to go through that not this “well my ex did this and that” I feel like that’s a really immature way to view things. Same with Mary’s “I’m insecure because I’ve been done wrong” I get it that it’s hard to think someone will do you right after so many failures. But to hold you current partner that you say you trust, love, and want a future with accountable for YOUR past is unfair. There’s plenty of reasons for them to not have a baby but her dwelling on that just irks me and feels very high school
Ummm she’s almost 40, and he’s mid 40s (I suspect closer to 50). They’re both too old to be having a kid. And that’s not an agism thing.
I couldn’t imagine being 50+ taking your 10 year old to school. Come on now.
And it was his own damn fault for not being involved with his first son. If he REALLY wanted kids… he wouldn’t have spent so much time fucking around.
I don’t think it’s unfair at all. Everything about Sarper screams „bringing up children is women’s work, I’m only there for the fun parts“. He’s got this macho mindset about a lot of things he and he certainly doesn’t look like the person who‘d get his hands dirty with shitty diapers. You can love someone and still don’t think he’d make a great dad. And because she wasn’t considering kids I guess this is fine with her.
I definitely think he’s not dad material but then that should be her reason is “you don’t display traits where I can trust you’ll be there for everything” or “what would you do if the baby has a dirty diaper” she just used the ex for the reason. I don’t think either of them should have a kid together. Shekinas daughter was giving her mom relationship and life advice. I just don’t think it’s right to hold someone else accountable for someone else’s actions. Hold sarper accountable for his own stuff and there’s plenty of it. At least 2500
I think they both just decided to be on a reality show. I don’t think theirs is even a real story line. They both bore the shit out of me & this is the first couple on the show who’s felt entirely fake
I wouldn’t trust Sarper as a babysitter, let alone a father. Shekinah made bad choices and is tangled up in a mess, but that doesn’t give that guy any right to impose his ideas on her, a mature woman who already raised a kid. I think if Sarper was an ok partner, he would’ve had a family of his own by now.
Also, I had an epiphany while watching him - this guy talks to women exactly like they do in porn. You see both using lots of internet lingo, but Sarper sounds like he only uses social media and PH to expand his vocabulary. His potential kid would call the mom a bitch and say “like and subscribe” before it would learn how to count to ten.
He already has a kid. I dont believe his sob story
Babies aren’t the kind of thing you give people “chances” with imo. If you’re uncertain about who to have them with or if to have them at all, you probably should simply not have one to be on the safe side. It’s not a puppy, it’s a whole human being and if you’re taking care of them right, it can be taxing on multiple levels.
Saying “I’ve already done this and the other dad didn’t help” seems harsh but all we can go on is experience and critical thinking skills to make decisions. And while using her experiences to judge Sarper’s potential parenting might seem wrong, his own past is even less reassuring. There’s literally nothing about him that suggests strong paternal urges/qualities or any degree of selflessness. He’s already thrown away one kid.
In the end it’s her body, mental health and financial/emotional well being on the line if she gets pregnant and he can’t or won’t be a good father. I don’t blame her at all for not putting all that on the line again at her age to placate some guy who told her he’d forget about her in days bc she didn’t just go with what he wanted lol. No one owes this guy a baby because he wants a do over.
She was set on not having kids when they met, so this is a Sarper problem for changing his mind, which, by the way, only seemed like he did after getting pressure from his parents. I get what you’re saying about the reasoning behind her decision, but unfortunately, trauma is also unfair, and it will affect future relationships in one way or another.
I think the family talking about kids made him kinda rethink and reimagine the fantasy but really with a baby they can’t be getting intimate as often as they do or travel and do all the stuff they do. They seem to enjoy being in the night life and that’s not doable with a newborn
Respectfully, I disagree. She knows what it means to carry a baby and then have a baby - and she doesn’t want to do it again. She needs no reason other than that, and her reasoning comes from experience. I’m not a fan of hers, but she’s right and she doesn’t owe him a chance when it’s her life and a child’s life that would be permanently affected. She’s thinking like a mom and I respect that (even if I don’t really like her).
If she doesn’t wanna have a baby that’s 100% her choice and her line to draw
Yes correct, full stop that’s all that matters.
…… he also lied to her when she asked this very very early on in the relationship. Shekinah has done absolutely unequivocally nothing wrong.
Totally agree. I didn’t hear she blamed her ex. I hear she didn’t want children. That’s it.
I don’t care what her reasons are, honestly. If she doesn’t want to, it’s not unfair to him. He should find someone younger who wants kids.
Just adding a few random theories into the mix for fun. Shekinah could have given Sarper a laundry list of reasons why and TLC just picked the reason that was the “juiciest” to air. She also never really talks about her age so it could also be a case of her deflecting from that convo. Or maybe she thinks Sarper wouldn’t accept “I don’t want to” as a reason at all. OR (this is my favorite theory) deep down she knows that Sarper isn’t a good guy and this is going to end badly just like it did with her ex and she doesn’t want a kid caught in the mix this time. In which case, good for her.
Do you know how long it will take him to forget about a baby? Two days!
Become a single mom and then get back to me. I would never want to have another kid, not because I don’t love and cherish my babies, but because it’s hard as hell to do it on your own. And you truly don’t know what can happen in the future, so playing it safe and not wanting to raise a kid alone is a smart reason to not have a baby. You just don’t know what will happen in life, people can make all the promises they want but in the end it (usually) comes down to the mom taking the brunt of it.
Right on. In a way, she is actually being a responsible mom to a child that will never exist.
