Kalani keeps saying Asuelu cheated 12 times, but she also alluded to his ‘cheating’ in America as online chats with cam-girls? She makes it sound like he physically cheated 12 separate times. What’s the real story here? I know chatting with girls could be considered cheating…but I feel like she’s intentionally making it sound like it was ‘physical’ cheating, to justify her own behaviour. Thoughts?

    • AdBitter9802@alien.topB
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Yes, it does matter because she threw out that number there for you for you think that he slept with 12 different people because it sounds outrageous and it’s not exactly what happened but she does that to distract from what she’s doing….

  • jennlafaxine@alien.topB
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    The definition of cheating is up to the people in the relationship. If Kalani has expressed she doesn’t want him on OF or whatever, and he continues the behavior anyway (and tries to hide it), he’s being deceptive.

    The key ingredient in cheating is deception.

        • Ok_Interview_2325@alien.topB
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          1 year ago

          I don’t know the real answer though. I have no idea whether Asuelo physically cheated or not that’s why I’m reading comments to find the answer lol. But there’s people like you who instead are just saying “cheating is cheating” as if that’s relevant.

    • MoonKatSunshinePup@alien.topB
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Bad answer. This isn’t what is being asked. The question is plainly did he have physical sex that many times and the answer is no.

      Did he cheat 12 times? Sure.

      Did he have sex or anything physical 12 times? No.

      • ExpensiveSolid8990@alien.topB
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        The literal question to this post is “Did Asuelu really cheat 12 times?” We literally just watched him give no fucks at the strip club even though he knew Kalani wouldn’t be ok with it in the last episode. Who knows what he was up to with those cam girls. I doubt he only had appropriate conversations with with them.

          • FarEastHoneydew@alien.topB
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            1 year ago

            This is what I’m talking about, Kilani saying he cheated 12 times is totally her trying to down play her side piece that she fell in love with. Like yes he was talking to women and got a BJ once. Kilani is taking that rod and keeps going back to it. What kilani is doing is way worse

            • ExpensiveSolid8990@alien.topB
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              1 year ago

              What do you mean downplay? What he did is plenty horrible. He continuously treated her like shit for all those years and the only way he realized how awful it feels to get cheated on was for Kalani to give him a taste of his own medicine. I don’t agree with her actions but they’re on a therapy show where they are there to share their stories. Asuelu is still on this show texting other women while he’s supposedly finally “invested” in saving their marriage and continues to try hiding it. Kalani isn’t worse than Asuelu. They both suck!

              • jayzepps@alien.topB
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                1
                ·
                1 year ago

                We don’t know that he was actually deleting messages from girls. I thought it could be messages from the guys about plans to go to the strip club. Also, ppl cheating (kalani) often get paranoid and make baseless accusations. They both suck equally

                • ExpensiveSolid8990@alien.topB
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  ·
                  1 year ago

                  You have a good point. We really don’t know what the truth is except that they are both lying to one another by hiding things. Either way it doesn’t help his case about him trying to look like he’s the one who truly cares to save his marriage this time.

            • payasoingenioso@alien.topB
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              1 year ago

              Divorce that fool, or keep it platonic.

              I know this seems difficult for some to process, but “making it work” is a TERRIBLE way to have a relationship.

              Fvck making anything work unless there’s money involved. Even then, I would rather struggle and make the money back than CHOOSE to deal with bum behavior.

      • payasoingenioso@alien.topB
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        It’s the oddest of behavior to tell someone “bad answer.”

        Odd af.

        No gavel.

        No law degree as far as I know.

        Yet, you are the last word.

        So odd. 😂

    • These-Maintenance-51@alien.topB
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Where is the line drawn though? Angela blowing up on Michael because the other guys called him while they were at the strip club kinda surprised me… but then I remembered it’s Angela and she looks for reasons to be mad.

      • ATD1981@alien.topB
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        I mean, plenty of women out there might get upset at their guy just chilling at a strip club. Fewer would get mad about homies calling a mofo when he wasnt even their lol. Saw some show, may have been some TLV shit but i dont remember. Dudes wife was pissed at him for jerking off because “thats cheating”. I think most folks would consider that way past the line of reasonable.

    • Kush_back@alien.topB
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      There’s no emotional cheating when he buying girls’ online content unless he was mainiting relationships with them.

    • BlazeOfGlory72@alien.topB
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Does Asuale have emotions to cheat with? I’m semi convinced that if you opened up his head it would be as hollow as his beloved coconuts.

  • ALyttleH@alien.topB
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    It’s the intent. I was with my ex for 8 years, he cheated on me for two of those years with another woman. Were there other women before that? I’m sure there were. Do I know for certain? No. Does it matter? Hell no! Deceit is deceit. The fact that Asuelu cheated multiple times is the issue, not necessarily the number.

  • ATD1981@alien.topB
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Realistically-

    12 times doesnt mean 12 different girls.

    And many 90 day cast members routinely say chatting online with girls or guys is synonymous with “cheating”. So it could be a combo. Keeping it vague keeps us in suspense i guess. Are you not entertained!?!

  • DogDisguisedAsPeople@alien.topB
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Keep in mind she grew up Mormon which lends towards very strict rules surrounding sex and “intimate” interactions with the opposite sex. I wouldn’t be surprised if her definition of “cheating” is a lot broader than many people’s would be. That doesn’t mean it’s right or wrong if Asuelu knew and agreed to those boundaries.

    For instance, I don’t really care if my husband opts to sleep with someone else, I don’t want to know and I trust him to make good, safe choices. But if he snoops through my phone, that’s grounds for serious divorce talks. I firmly believe everyone is entitled to privacy and even with nothing to hide (I’m boring AF!), I would be absolutely crushed to know he violated that.

    • retroverted_uterus@alien.topB
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Idk, unpopular opinion but I think Kalani is delulu when it comes to relationships. She clearly has no experience, and no matter which way she spins it, it doesn’t sound like they were actually in a relationship when she got pregnant (and that story has changed, too).

  • Putrid-Alarm1979@alien.topB
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    I don’t really think it matters if it’s physical or not…

    I think it’s a common belief that going on cam websites/buying content is cheating

  • silverbullionbug@alien.topB
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Imagine this. One of the guys had a side piece in another hotel. They would be crucified. I think there is a major double standard happening.

  • StomachDifferent2532@alien.topB
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Buying time with a cam girl or personalized content is way more intimate than just browsing pornhub. Easily classifiable as cheating

  • Jessismore4@alien.topB
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Every couple sets their own boundaries for what they consider cheating or not. If Kalani considers online chats and videos cheating then it is. I think a lot of ppl in monogamous relationships would too

  • BeefStrykker@alien.topB
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    The bottom line is they both have done some really stupid things that are inexcusable in a marriage. The frequency or type of cheating isn’t the problem. It’s the fact that any of it happened at all.